Bob Chapman
I'd say the something extra that every leader needs to be a great leader is what I was blessed with by some higher power, which is to see people in a different way, to see them. And and again, I think the most transformative revelation I had was that wedding story where Talk about that. I stopped Many of your listeners will have had the experience of seeing your child, wed to another child and having great hopes for the marriage. And so I was experiencing this wedding, and again, as I saw my friend walk his precious daughter down the aisle, and as he got to the altar, he said, her mother and I give our daughter to be wed to this young man. And he sat down next to his wife, with a great deal of pride watching the ceremony continue. And my mind, as you can sense, went to a different place. And I said, that's not what that father wanted to say, having walked my two precious daughters down the aisle. What he what that father wanted to say when he got older is look at young man. Her mother and I brought this precious young lady into this world. We've given her all the love that we can possibly give so she can be who she's intended to be. And we expect you, young man, through this marriage for you to continue to care for her as she will care for you so you can both be who you're intended to be. Do you understand that, young man? And all of a sudden, I said to myself, oh my goodness. All twelve thousand people that work for us around the world are somebody's precious child just like that young lady and young man. And because until that point in time, I saw people that work for me as functions. That's a receptionist. That's an engineer. That's an accountant. That's an IT person. I didn't see them as somebody's precious child. And I would say to you that that transformed me because when I realized that, it changed my whole view of the stewardship of the people whose lives are entrusted to me. Because when you think of people not as function, but as somebody's precious child, and you know that you've got them in your care for forty hours a week and that you will be the most positive influence on their life, it changes everything when you stop seeing people as functions. You know, I always say I took a management classes in college. I got a management degree, and I got a job in management. So what did I try and do? I tried to manage people. And it was always about me and my success. I was never taught to care for the people I would experience in my journey toward in my life. I was taught to use people for my success because we define success as money, power, and position. And I know many people with all three who are miserable in their lives because that is not a truly successful life. You know, it was it was interesting to me, after I was interviewed for an article in a magazine, the writer said to me, name three people you'd like to have dinner with. I'd never been asked that before, so I thought of him. And I said, well, there's a guy named Ken Blanchard who wrote a book called The One Minute Manager. He's a very man of deep faith, very simple ideas on leadership. And I thought, boy, I'd love to have dinner with Kenny. He's still alive. I said, number two, I'd I'd love to have dinner with Ronald Reagan. He he believed in the goodness of people. He had a vision for our country. He led it with simple elegance. And I said, do I get three? And he said, yeah. I said, well, then I'm going for the big guy. I'd like to have dinner with Jesus Christ. You know? What a cool guy to have dinner with. And so that was published. And this still amazes me, but within two months of that article being produced, the people I tell you about did not know about the article. But a gentleman emails me. His name is Ken Adleman. He worked for Reagan in the White House. He helped negotiate with the Russians, the strategic armed court. Ken emails me and said, Bob, I just watched your TED Talk, and Ronald Reagan would love the wedding story. And I thought, well, you know, that's about as close as I'm gonna get to Reagan. It really touched me that somebody worked intimately with Reagan for eight years in the White House, reached out to tell me that Reagan would have loved the wedding story. So that's a coincidence that I just named Ronald Reagan. And then I'm I'm at a dinner in San Diego, a leadership guru conference. And a gentleman taps on my shoulder and says, Bob, I just had dinner with Ken Blanchard. And he loved the wedding story, and he wants to talk to you. I thought, oh my god. That's number two, and I'm not ready for number three yet. And it was astounding to me that I had said that in the article and these voices came out all related to, people who I would love to talk to about this journey we've been on from success to significance. So, I would say that the wedding story is and all the talks I've given around the world, that is the one that resonates with people because we're kinda taught to use people for our success. We're never taught to care about people because we define success as money, power, and position, not leading lives of significance in response to his love for us. So I would say to you that the wedding story was the one that really helps people understand when you look at the people that you have the privilege of leading as somebody's precious child and you know you're gonna have impact on their life, profanity changes everything.