Exactly. Now here's what I've always heard. The fastest way to a man's heart is through his mouth. Right? I'm like, so be a good cook. And music. Yes. Food and music. Those two things. Very important.

I like both of those things too. So

Yes. Me too. Me too. So, this is interesting because, you know, you you had written and sang the song Blessed. I think you wrote it, but I know you performed

it. Yeah. I did not write it.

You did not write it. Yeah. That song, oh my goodness, Rachel. I have had that song on repeat. I love that song so much. And the way you did, you won a Dove Award with that song. -Yeah. -When you, like, looking back at that young girl, I mean, what would you say to her now? I mean, she's singing that song blessed, winning a dove award. What would you say to her, Rachel?

I would just say keep leaning into who who you like, keep listening to your heart. I I know that kinda sounds a little trite. Mhmm. But I think we don't we it's really easy to get carried away in all the events and the the glitter and the excitingness of everything. And there there's there was, like, a little I I can I can, like, pinpoint all the times where I'm, like, move that was a heart move, like, that was a heart thing? And even the song blessed, even how that came about. So when I was signed, I was fourteen, and I, I wasn't a songwriter yet. I was, you know, just singing I was singing Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston karaoke. That's that was my that was my thing. And so I I didn't know how to write a song yet. So what the the record label did for me was they rented a house out here in Franklin actually, and they, invited me and my mom to stay there for a few weeks while writers would come in and out and come, like, have meals with us and take walks with us and just ask me questions about what it's what it's like to be me and what's going on in my heart, what's going on in my head. Blessed is one of those moments I took a walk with my friends now that are that wrote the song, Cindy Morgan and Ginny Owens, and I was able to just kind of tell them, like, you know, I don't know. I'm fourteen. Like, I I I feel this way. I feel like I'm blessed just to wake up in the morning and to have somewhere to rest, you know, and that that I'm held the whole time. And, you know, so, like, I and and that song, you know, continues to, like, be true and very and stay fresh to me because, I think I need that song more now than I did then. Well, you know? Right?

You know? It's a great way to start the day. I'm telling you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Simple and Mhmm. But yeah. So I would just say to to to stay connected to your heart. Mhmm. Yeah. If I

were to speak

back to her.

Yeah. That is good. That is good. Well, I knew I know that you grew up in a faith filled home, and I know that, you know, that probably your faith probably sustained you during that success. Yeah. But, you know, growing up in public while still trying to figure out your own voice, that is not for the faint of heart. I mean, it's harder, I think, than people really probably realize.

Yeah. Yeah. I I definitely had a lot of a a lot of ups and downs in in that time, like, you know, lots of doubting myself and insecurity and imposter syndrome and, oh my gosh, just, you know, anything that can come and talk me out of what I was doing came along for sure.

Sure.

And I think and I think ultimately, you know, I I did get burnt out. You know? I did get, to the point where I was like, okay. I don't know what my own voice sounds like anymore and what what God's voice sounds like because there's so many voices, you know, like, there's so many people weighing in on how I should look and what I should sing about and what should be next. And for me, it was like I I needed to kind of, like, clear the noise. So I yeah. I definitely, like, it it there was a a point where I was like, is this over? You know? Am I, like, am I just gonna be done? Or do I need a break? And, you know, thank God. I I I, you know, had great people around me. I had my brother and my mom, and we just kind of, decided, like, we don't have to know the answer. We don't have to have this

this week.

Right. Yeah. Or this, you know, this this end date or this, you know, plan for this time of stepping away. I knew I just needed to, like, get quiet, clear the noise, and just breathe for a second and figure out, you you know, what what my my own heart was saying.

Mhmm. Yeah. And so you did that. You were twenty. Right? You were twenty and walked away from this wildly successful career. And you said I read somewhere where you said, you know, you just didn't feel peace. You didn't feel peace during that time. You had some anxious, anxiety Yeah. Felt lots of pressure. You know, you've yeah. You've talked a lot about, you know, untangling. And I can see it's not just, like, what other people are saying. So you had all these voices speaking into you, Rachel, but also the pace at which you were going, I'm sure, like touring and doing, you know, the events and and new albums and yada yada yada. It's like sometimes when you're going with that pace, what I have seen, like, you know, not, like, in the music world, but even in business and building a business, you're just one at this pace and you kinda get on autopilot sometimes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Truly do lose kind of, like you said, kinda your own voice or how am I even feeling

Yeah. About all of that. And it catches up with you. I I think Mhmm. I I remember, like, at a certain point, I was just I was like, man, how how have I kept going this long? Like because it's like I knew that I was putting off something really important. I knew that I I needed to catch my breath, and I knew that I needed, like, something to come along that would, like, like, cause me to, like, go inward for a second, but I just kept going outward, outward, outward, outward, and, like, just saying yes and, you know, just kind of letting letting everyone else make the decisions for me kind of thing. Mhmm. And, and I just I remember knowing, like, I I know this is gonna catch up with me, and, and I wish I wish I did it. You know, I wish, you know, you that question that you asked me at the very beginning, it's like, I wish I did stay connected to my heart in that moment.

But you were all of fourteen, Rachel.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

You know? We were fourteen.

And Absolutely. And and, you know, I do it now. You know? I catch myself now. And I'm like, oh, yep. That wasn't that wasn't my heart speaking. That was something else. You know? So Yeah. It definitely I I get what you mean. Like, yeah, you just you get in this autopilot, scenario, and then and then suddenly for so for me, it would be suddenly somebody's like, okay. It's time to make a new album. What are you inspired by? And I'm like, I don't know. I'm just wanna go to sleep. Like like, I I I haven't even looked around long enough to get inspired because I'm just going, like, head down straight through, and I'm sure it gets like that in business too because it's just, like, everything that we do has to be inspired by something, you know, and

be Absolutely.

Be moving by something that is deeper than, you know Mhmm. Just, you know, what we see in front of us.

So Absolutely. Yeah. I betcha. Because for me, sometimes, just, like, getting out in nature, taking a walk, taking the dog for a walk. I mean Yeah. It's it's interesting, You know? And I've kinda come up with this phrase, like, be present where my feet are planted.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And instead of if if I'm if I'm interacting with Ali or I'm interacting with a friend or I'm taking a walk, you know, I'm trying to take in everything around you know, the birds and the Yeah. Beauty. And that is truly where I think, for me, anyway, inspiration comes from. You know? Yeah. Like, I'll see like, one day, I was walking, and I was just watching the birds go from one tree to the next. And, of course, sometimes they fly really far. Right? But I'm like, sometimes it's like even, like, if you've got this huge project, the epiphany just came to me. Sometimes you've got this huge project in front of you that just looks so monumental and so impossible. But look at the birds. They're, like, going from one tree

Tree to tree.

Tree to tree. Yeah. And I was like, wow. But, see, I mean, if you don't take the time to kinda slow down Yeah. Those thoughts never even come to you because you're just, you know, barreling through, I guess, you know, if you will. But but you chose a nanny job. I did. Yeah. Which is such a contrast. Oh, I know. I know. And you're on stage.

Yeah. It was a it was whiplash. Yes.

I yeah.

But it was so great. I I I wanted to do what all my friends were doing at the time. Right. They were all just kinda take you know, they were in college. They were taking their nanny jobs and their babysitting jobs, and I was like, I wanna I wanna do that. Yeah. That sounds good. Right? Yeah.

So what did that season teach you? I am sure a lot.

But For sure to slow down. To slow down. To get on the floor, you know, and, like, just, like, touch the grass like everybody's saying now. Like like, just get get grounded. You know? Like, feel the earth and and stop, yeah, stop go go going so much. Like, to to show up to to the same place every day was something that I never did. Like, I was always traveling. So to to wake up and show up, so, like, consistency, rhythm, like, I I all of a sudden had this rhythm to my life, and then just, you know, the unexpectedness of kids and just the the best, like, little words and thoughts and ideas. Yeah. I I I needed that. I needed all that sweet pure purity and innocence and, just all the laughs. It was just a good time to simplify.

Yeah. I love that. I love that. Yeah. Well, how do you think I mean, what what were some of the things that you rediscovered about yourself? You know? Oh, god. So you had this slowing down a little bit of, you know, anonymity, if you will. Yeah. I mean, you were no longer out there on stage. I mean, what were some of those things that you uncovered about yourself?

Yeah. I mean, immediately, it was really hard because I was like, am I am I purposeful anymore? Like, do I do I even matter anymore? Like, what is what's my you know, what's the point? Like, what's

what's my purpose in life? And my Yeah. Yeah.

I went from, you know, getting all this, you know, outside validation. And, you know you know, as a young person having all these people on my team and having all these people cheering me on and all of a sudden it's just like, bye. You know? Like, just, like, you're on your own now. Like, maybe you're maybe the kids you're watching will give you a round of applause, but probably not.

Probably not. Oh my goodness.

So, yeah, that was, it that was one the the first moment where I just was like, who am I without music and without not even without music, but without validation, without outside validation. Like, do like, am I gonna be able to believe in myself enough or believe even, like, you know, it it impacted my faith in a huge way because I was like, does does God even think I'm important anymore? Like, am I doing, like, my my duties? You know?

Yeah.

For for for, like, you know, advancement of the kingdom. Like, all of a sudden, I was just like, oh, no. And I had to really decide whether I believed that that's how life worked and how God works and how love works.

Saw you. You know? I mean, like, what does he say, right, about you? Right. And I we're gonna get into this, but I Yeah. You know, Ally is our youngest. And I would say Yeah. What she has really taught me is our work does not equal our productivity. It does not equal performance. Yes. Right? And I kinda grew up a little bit in a performance type culture where it's like Yep. The grades and the the accolades and and accolades of men, men, women. I'm saying men in a generic term. But

Okay. Yeah.

The accolades of other humans Yeah. Can be a very addictive Yes. Thing. Don't you think?

Comparison. Oh my gosh. It is the thief of joy. Like, it is just not, yeah, that was that was a really hard road for me, was just watching my peers who weren't burnt out, you know, and watching, you know, my friends, like, you know, get on some fun tour. And I'm like, I left that. I I did it on purpose, but I I was you know, what was I thinking? And

Yes.

Oh, it was yeah. There's there's just always a reason to to wrestle with that until, yeah, until you do really decide to believe, like, that that's not the way that love works. Right. No.

I agree. And that your worth is not tied to that. Right? And so

That's right.

They're so That's

right.

So deep. So, basically, I mean, it's really deep. Well, I'm gonna ask you one more question, then we have to take a really quick break. Okay. But, you know, you went on, and I love this. I've not been able to watch your homefulness documentary yet, but I'm going to because I know that you guys have a a documentary out there. But I think your big brother started loving Nashville, people loving Nashville. Nashville.

Yeah. I'm

home. You became a part of that. I think I think your whole family got involved, and it's become a really sacred weekly rhythm. In fact, I think I remember reading somewhere, and this could have been earlier on. You may have missed a few, but, by now. But I think I read where you never even missed a Monday night. Tell Yeah. Our listeners about people loving Nashville.

Yeah. So my brother started this nonprofit in in Nashville. There's a big long backstory, but, basically, you know, we grew up me and my siblings grew up, you know, with when we had extra food, my mom would take us to to downtown Boulder, and she'd say, go go make some friends, see if anybody's hungry out there, and she just kinda let us go. I'm sure she watched more than we remember she watched, you know, like Right. In our in our minds, she kicked us out of the minivan, and we were, you know, out there for hours, but I'm sure she was right behind us. Right. But we so we've always, had a big emphasis in our family on taking care of of others. And, and so it was a very natural thing for my brother to just kinda go out there and and bring his extra food out. And he ended up meeting a couple friends. And they said, hey, you bring friends and I'll bring friends, you know, and we should do this again next week. And then it just kind of kept going and through through, you know, a lot of, back and forth with with God. It it ended up becoming a a every Monday night thing. And for seventeen years, we People Loving Nashville has never missed a Monday night. So, you know, it started with, and and so on Monday night, it's basically a a block party in in downtown Nashville. You know, started with, you know, two two people and grew. It's about five hundred people now, that come down to to get food and to get clothing. We have shower trucks. We have, street barbers. We have, you know, clinics and pet clinics and kind of just whoever wants to show up and help, we we we let them in. It's a it's a block party, and so it's end up becoming this, like, really beautiful community, real friendships. We've obviously partnered with the city at this point, and they have, really been helping us get people rehoused, and rehabbed and, recovered and just kind of all the things that it takes to to help each other.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Totally. To keep thriving. And so it's been, the the yeah. The the one thing in in our our family's life, but even beyond, that has, you know, given given, like, for me, it was the one thing that gave me meaning again to to do music again and that, you know, that's kind of further down the line. But that was that that's kind of the thing that No.

Be it.

That really kept my my heart.

Right. I I love it. And it was just it was a grassroots effort, you know? Very much. It's a very much of a grassroots, and now it's grown and stuff. And so, listeners, go out, Google People Loving Nashville. You'll find out all about the organization. And like I said, they've got a documentary out there called Homefulness Yeah. Which I'm really looking forward to sitting down and watching with our family. But we do need to take a quick break, and we'll be right back with Rachel Lampa on the Something Extra podcast.

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Welcome back, everyone, to the Something Extra podcast with my friend, Rachel Lampa. We've just been having such a great time. Well, Rachel, I would love for you to talk about this a little bit because we just talked about people loving Nashville. Then you started working in the prisons, in the women prisons. And, you know, what did that teach you about worth and identity? What did you learn working in the prisons?

Yeah. You know, for me, it was like it was like this instant community, you know, of of women. We started to, you know, we we ran things like AA, ACA. We did songwriting classes. We did, gosh, just kind of we we put together bouquets of flowers together. Like, you know, we just found reasons to be together, to to talk about real life, real things, and to the thing about those walls, you know, is that there is this sense of, like, why not just be be all that we are? Be honest. Let it lay it out on the table, and let's see if we can do some healing. You know? And and it was the same for all of us who came in to serve. Like, we all came in with our own pain and our own questions and our own stories and, you know, I was walking in with all this identity stuff, you know, and You're,

you're figuring they probably helped you figure stuff.

A million percent. I will say that till the till the last day. Like, we we all spoken to each other's lives. You know? And, and so I think that that of of anything is like, hey. We our stories there are a lot of different ways to live life. Our stories are all gonna look very different, but they're also gonna look really, really similar. And and I think that that was, like, such a big, you know, thing for me was to just sit somewhere and connect with people with nothing to lose and nothing nothing maybe nothing to gain. Like, it just was we just were, you know, we were just human together, without, you know, taking selfies and without, you know, talking about it, outside. But what we one thing that we did was we we called ourselves the wild ones. So we had, like, this this group, like, you know, that would, like, go through different classes and stuff together, and we were the it was called the wild ones. And part of it was we would read about about the wild ones of the Bible and that Jesus being the wildest one. Jesus being the one who pushed pushed buttons. You know? Mhmm. He was yeah. Radical love and, did things the way to me and made a lot of people really uncomfortable about the way that he treat treated, you know, the poor and women and, so he pushed against, you know, and so to be able to, like, find ourselves in that story and not that the cookie cutter, you know, story that that we may have been given growing up that might have made us feel like we're out of we're we're we're outcasts, you know, or we've we ruined it. We messed it all up, you know, whatever the story is that we want to tell ourselves. Yes. And so to be able to, like, see yourself in this story together and, and see see yourself being seen, you know, by God and by by each other.

Wow. I

don't feel like invisible anymore. Despite mistakes and despite, really hard upbringings and really hard, childhood traumas and all of this stuff. Yeah. So, so to be able to just exist together, that that was it. That's the thing that God told me is, like, you're you are important and you are purposeful because you're you exist, because you're alive, because because you're a child of God, and that's it. That's the only title you need. And I think you find that out too. I think a lot of of the inmates found it found that out in prison too. It was just like, this is this is, all you have all you need to to to live a flourishing purposeful life because all you need is the heart that's beating in in you and that I created, you know. And so I I found I I really refound that that real life God, you know, again, while working in in prison.

So beautiful. I love that. I love that you called Jesus the wild one.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. You know? Because At first people are like, like, oh, I don't know. But, you know,

he did. He did kind of what do they call it? Kick against the goats. I Yeah. You know? Like, I'm I'm just thinking when you were saying that, I was thinking, yeah. I mean, he was kinda wild. He was very radical. Because I'm I was thinking about the woman at the well, you know, and the Samaritan woman at the well. And she's like, why are you talking to me? I'm a I'm a Samaritan. Jews and Samaritans don't talk. And especially men did not talk to the women. Right? And That's right. And she had you know, it was at noon, and none of the women came at noon because it was too hot. But God

That's right.

Just knew all about her. Yeah. But

Yes. That's right. Mean.

She felt

That's right.

Mean.

Yeah. That's right. Exactly. That's right.

Beautiful. Well, I wanna talk about this because because of that, you wrote another song that, in fact, a friend of mine, when I was telling her about you and that you're what we're gonna talk about that I'm really excited about, she's like, oh my goodness. She goes, perfectly loved is, like, my favorite song. So you wrote perfectly loved

Yes.

Because of that experience. And I I know it won, I believe, a K LOVE award Yes. At least. Such a beautiful song. So so Thank you. Listeners, go listen to the song. Go Yeah. Listen to the song perfectly, love. It's really beautiful. But that really is what got you returning to music. Yep. Right? That's right. Rachel.

That was it. Yeah. I I saw how how music affected so, like, because I feel like you're you have, like, a really honest podcast. Yes. Say, like, I was so I was so jaded about Christian music at that point. I was like, I don't wanna do it again. I feel like I've I feel like it's all been said. It's all been sung. It's just repeating over and over. I what what could I say, you know, that could add to it? And, and so I kind of had this little this jadedness in me, and I sat there with these women in this prison, and they started playing some of these songs. They started playing, like, K LOVE and stuff, and I started seeing women, like, be, like, like, completely come alive again and, like like, totally release things that they needed to release and accept things they needed to accept through this music. And then all of a sudden, I just was like, oh, I get it now. Like, I I had gotten so, like, hard hearted towards it that I just forgot that that there's a whole other that that that God is doing a whole other thing on top of all this, and it's not just, Yeah. It's not just words and and notes, you know. It's like it's a whole thing. Yeah. And I was like, I wanna be part of that again. Yeah. You know, I wanna I wanna do that again. And so and that's and so COVID came along, and we weren't able to go back in. And so I wanted to write a song to send back into the girls, to let them know what my time with them meant and what I learned, and that was that was

So beautiful. Yeah. Well, I'm just thinking too I'm just thinking too, Rachel, as we're talking, I'm thinking, you know, these women were in prison.

Yeah.

But music helped them find freedom. Yes. You know? So they are in prison, but they are finding freedom

Yep.

In in that situation, you know, through the music and through the time that you guys are spending and you you introducing them to to Jesus, basically.

Yep. Yep. Your heart can be free. You can be locked away, but your heart can be free. Mhmm. That's absolutely what what was happening.

So beautiful. Yeah. Well, this is what I'm really excited about talking about.

Yeah.

Why, you know, when our friend Tommy sent me this this song, I'm just like, what? Just balling. You know? But you're a mom. You're a mom to Jackson and Leo. You know? What has motherhood really revealed to you about God's heart toward you?

Oh my gosh. Well, I think it it further cemented that you don't have to do anything to deserve love and to deserve, purpose. Yeah. Like, you literally just have to exist because, you know, we hear that our whole lives, and we're like, I'm sure I'm sure God loves me like that. Whatever. But then you start loving your kid, and you're like, oh my gosh. You could say the worst thing to me. You could be the biggest brat, and I'm still gonna be so obsessed with you. Yes. I might need to take a few breaths, but I'm still gonna love you like I can't I like I could never stop,

you know.

And so, you know, being able to see the mirror of his love for me down to my kids, was pretty, yeah, was pretty, like, monumental for me. Yeah. Finally, really being able to understand that. But yeah. And then, you know, just getting to return to the childlike faith, you know, again, and just just thinking simply, and trying to think at their level, and trying to, you know, reframe the way that I approach people, having more grace and kindness and, patience and gentleness. Yes. Patience. Yes. But yeah. Yeah. So all those things.

All those things. Yeah. I I have often said, you know, nothing has kept me quite on my knees Yeah. And is dependent as being a mom, seriously. But this is I wanna this is the song that Tommy sent to me. It's called Superpowers. Yes. And, again, when I when I listened to this song, I mean, I just I started weeping. But you wrote this about Leo. And Leo is your little three year old that was born with Down syndrome. I I, you know, and people that know me know they know Ali. In fact, they may know Ali and not know me.

I've been finding that out too with Leo.

Yes. Yes. How has Leo really expanding your definition of strength, Rachel?

He has yeah. That's that's right. It it's not it he has made me stronger, but he has redefined strength to me for sure.

No doubt.

Strength is like so much more of an internal, muscle internal, like, striving. Like, there's there's something like that, wants to never give up. Like, I know that I will I will be, like, running his race with him till far beyond being able to run. You know? Like, I I I won't ever stop. Like, there's just strength is is such a such a long game. It's, it's also such a present thing. Mhmm. There's something so, so present about these little these little beings with Down syndrome. There's something that's so just immediate and right there. Right, right, like, between the two, like, that that connection, that eye contact, that just there's, like,

Yes.

Everything else fades away, you know. And then And it it causes

It's so bizarre. It's so pure.

It's so pure. So pure. And it causes you to do that with everyone else too. It's not like this exclusive club. It's like, oh, you're giving me this so that I can give this to the world too and to my other kids and, you know, just beyond. It's just amazing how yeah.

We can just talk about this, the high end time. I know.

I start just

yapping. Yes. Well and I'm gonna send you, the Something Extra book of my Something Extra book that just came out in September. And and, yeah, you and I, I mean, we just get it. We get it because Yeah. Like you said, the way that you interact with him has caused you to interact differently with other people. And I would say I say this all the time and it is the honest truth. Ally is one of my greatest teachers. I've learned so much about life. I've learned so much about how to live. I've learned so much about people. I've learned so much about leadership.

Oh my gosh. I'm so

of Ali. I really have. So

I love that. Yeah. I mean, I I I say this a lot too, like, with when people ask, like, why why did I call it superpowers? I I I just think that, you know, especially when you said leadership, I'm like, yeah. That's that's such a good one. Mhmm. It's like there's he does lead our family in certain ways. We, you know, we're my my my older son Jackson is like this soccer star. He's so amazing. He's just like this just athletic, like, you know, beyond I just I'm like, you know, his biggest fan, obviously. Yeah. And me and me and my husband, we both work, and we're always you know, we're ideas people, and we're just going, going, going. So Leo, he is this guy that, like, you know, anytime I'm about to, like, change his diaper or, like, put him in his car seat or anytime I'm really truly just in a hurry, he stops everything and he goes, and he puts his arms out and he's, like, I think we got a hug, and I'm, like, I totally don't have time for a hug, but I'm gonna do it because you're the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Yes.

And somehow there's just always time for this hug. Uh-huh. And there's always it's like he creates time. Like and so I that's when I started to be like, oh, you've got superpowers. Like Uh-huh. You created time where there wasn't time, and you created connection where where there wasn't connection. You create a connection when there was a hurry, you know. And you created and and, like, you know, you were saying, like, leadership is, like, you created this new way to think about this this whatever's in front of us, because you have superpowers that we don't have. You know? And,

it's so good. Sometimes and Ally will remember me or or she'll remind me sometimes, you know, she can tell that I'm getting anxious. And she'll say, take a breath.

Oh, so

sweet. Take a breath, mom. You know? And, I will tell you one thing. I've never said this on the podcast. I've never said this on the podcast, but I'm gonna say it to you. Before every podcast, Rachel, she prays for me. She does. And prays that the podcast goes well. And she'll always add this. She goes, and help them not to laugh at my mom.

I don't know what

where that comes from, but she does every time I know it's coming. You know, she's like, yeah. Help them not to laugh at my mom, but but she prays before every podcast. That's true. And just that it will be a sacred time and that the words that come out from you, come out from me will be what our listeners need to hear. You know, it's just so beautiful.

Oh, that's beautiful, Sanctuary.

Beautiful. I know. I know. I know. So let's talk about this, you know, and then we're gonna talk about something extra. You know, guarding your worth, you know, when when applause and metrics are no longer the measuring stick, you know, I mean, how, you know, how how do you think about your worth? And I I I and you've kind of already said it, but I'd love for you to repeat that. And then I want to talk about a healthy yes. Right? Because, you know and, Rachel, I'm getting my EA, whom you have met, will tell you this. I'm getting so much better at this. But making sure that I understand for Lisa Nichols what are the most important things and prioritizing those so I'm not saying yes to everything. Because when we say yes to one thing, it means that we're saying no to something else. Right? Yeah. And it's really hard. And I'm I'm a person, you know, I kinda grew up, you know, with this kind of people pleasing. I would I don't wanna disappoint you, and I I, you know, I wanna make you happy. And so Yeah. But, you know, I would love for you to talk about worth, how you think about worth, and then the healthy yes and and boundaries that you put around yourself.

I love it. Okay. So for worth yeah. All this everything we've talked about is just like this this whole path is is, like, worth identity, all that purpose, all that stuff. And then along comes Leo, and it it, like, I can't tell you how much unlearning and healing happened at the same time. It was like I just like threw away this whole this whole thing I was hanging on to about about thinking that I can deserve and or I can earn earn love. You don't have to earn love. You you you can you are beautiful and accepted and loved and known exactly where you're at. Even if you you're at the most invisible that you've ever felt.

Mhmm.

I mean, for me, like like, having a newborn was my especially with Jackson, my first kid, was one of the most invisible times I've ever felt. I've I've never just, like, had to, like, stay in, you know, like that and just kinda be, like, so, you know, just like in the depths of, like, feeding troubles and all that kind of stuff and had a little bit of with that of that with Leo too. So to to learn that, to have that new that new voice just running through my head, like, if I'm gonna if I'm gonna teach that to him because I wholeheartedly believe and know that he is the most worthy child, just as worthy as any other child in the world. So if I'm gonna teach him that, then I need to believe it myself. And so I have to continue to speak that over him and over myself every single day and not not feel like I have to be perfect at it and Yes. And not not dwell on it if I if I have if I fall into those mindsets again, but I have to keep resetting. And he is the perfect way to reset, to reset that because I I see it in him every single day. Yeah. So yeah.

I love that you said that every day. That you have to speak. It's not a one and done. No. Right? It's not. I mean, we need to constantly be monitoring what's coming into here That's right. The mind.

In a loving way. Like, we can lovingly do that and not beat ourselves up. I think we beat ourselves up when we when we think that it is a one and done, and we're like, oh, I should've learned this by now. I should've should've should've. You know? And it's like, no. Just lovingly, like, come back. Yes. You know?

That's good. That's a good word. Love it. Well, what about healthy yeses?

Healthy yeses. So, this might be a little bit of, like, a song answer. Okay. I love it.

New song. New song.

It's a little more like

I don't know what

you would call it. Maybe it's musically worded, but I I heard this thing, that really helped me because I think sometimes we I I I want to like have this like perfectly balanced life, like yeses and noes, and yeses and noes, and this and this. And I realized like again, like, I'll beat myself up if I if I if I get off kilter at all. And so I heard this concept of, like, maybe instead of having this perfectly balanced thing, maybe it's get better at harmony. At, like, being in harmony with when things aren't quite black and white

Mhmm.

And aren't quite, like, a yes and aren't quite a no. And maybe we can give a little bit of ourselves to to something on this side, but maybe not my whole entire being, you know. Maybe and and maybe that's harder for a perfectionist. I don't know if you're a perfectionist. I just learned that I was one. I had no idea that I was one. Somebody told me I was a therapist told me, and I was like, oh, yep. I think you're right. So to be able to just say, hey. Like, I can give you ten minutes of my time for this, and I can give you, I maybe I can't write, you know, a a twenty page, you know, reflection on this thing, but I could I could give you a really good voice note. You know? Sure.

You know? Yeah. That's

good. Just get creative. And, and then that way, when you do wanna when something is tugging at your heart and you wanna go fully in on it, you can bring you can bring balance to it in its own different in its own way. You know? And so just that concept of, like, harmony over perfection

I love it. Has been Yeah. It's rich. That's really rich, Rachel. I love it. Well, I'm just gonna say, I am so grateful. I'm gonna announce this. I'm so grateful that you said yes to a request that I had this year. It is the Gateway Down Syndrome Association of St. Louis' fiftieth anniversary. And so they had asked me to co chair, and how could I say no to that. Right? Co chairing with, the amazing Ray Kliman, this, CHRO for, for RGA here, Reinsurance Group of America here in St. Louis. Okay. And after I heard that song, I'm like, wow. I wonder if Rachel would come for the fiftieth. And you are coming on November the fourteenth at the tenth Park Plaza. So I am so grateful that you said yes to that. And, Leo, God willing, and that the Creek Don't Rise is gonna come with you and come up with your band. And so, so, so, so excited about that. So thank you. Oh, we're so, so excited. So much for saying yes. And you may even make it a family affair.

I I'm gonna try. Yes.

Because Jenny and I have been telling you about how wonderful. I mean, Saint Louis has so much to offer.

Oh my gosh. I love it there.

Yeah? I love it. Big shout out to Dwight Scott, the CEO for Saint Louis Zoo and our good friend, Jennifer Walton, the number one zoo. I said it's the number one zoo in the country. So you've got your whole family.

St. Louis some rave reviews. Yes. Yes.

Yes. So well, this is called something extra, Rachel. And this is the question that I ask every guest that comes on the show. What do you believe is something extra that every leader needs?

Oh, okay. Let's see. Every leader. Well, I would say that that so so I'm gonna I'm gonna bring Leo back in because I think this is the thing that has has helped me, actually build build time into my day

Mhmm.

Is to is to take away time and and and save it for the things that fill you, that fill your heart. And whether that's a a point of connection with with your kids, if it's a hug, if it's a literal hug like with Leo Yes. If it's if it's if there's something that your heart needs and you don't think you have time for it, I dare you to take the time. And and I I dare you to come back and say that you lost that time. And it's

so, so good. Yeah. I'm thinking sometimes we have to cut away. Right?

We have

to cut away. I'll just, a spiritual mentor of mine has been doctor Richard Blackaby. Okay. And years ago, I was sitting under him, and he was talking about the scripture from Isaiah. I think it's Isaiah forty three, and I can't remember the exact verse. But it's like forgetting the things that are behind and, you know, pushing toward those that are new and forget those things. Right? And behold, I'm doing something new.

Yeah.

And Doctor. Blackaby, I'm telling you, Rachel, it hit like just a two by four in the middle of the head. And he's like, sometimes we are running so fast. God wants to do something entirely new in our life, but we're running so fast. We've created no margin for that.

Right. That's right.

And sometimes you have to cut away Yeah. To make the time for the things that fill you up. And, boy, it was, yeah. I made I made changes. I made changes after that. Huge changes.

Yes. That's awesome.

And so it just reminds me so much of that. But this has been such a delight. Thank you so much. And you've already had a full day. Little Leo has already had his swimming lesson this morning.

And I'm I'm literally in a swimsuit right now. Right. Exactly.

Oh my gosh. I love it. Well, thank you again so much. I just am so appreciative, and I just know our listeners are gonna love, love, love this conversation with you. Oh my goodness. And, and hopefully, they'll come and see you in person on November the fourteenth at the Chase Park Plaza.

So So fun. And can't wait.

Something extra with Lisa Nichols is a Technology Partners production. Copyright Technology Partners Inc twenty nineteen. To learn more about this week's guest, check out the show notes at tpi dot co slash podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, consider leaving us a review. Thank you for listening to Something Extra.