Defining Your Legacy w/ Joe Pellegrino
Episode Details
Transcript
Discover how to live a life of intentional impact with Joe Pellegrino, Founder and President of Legacy Minded Ministries and Not Just an Average Joe. Joe shares his profound concept of being a "dash enhancer" - maximizing the life (the dash) between your birth and death dates to positively affect generations to come. He opens up about overcoming a lonely, challenging youth to become a successful author and mentor, revealing how his commitment to perseverance transformed his trajectory. You'll also learn why asking the right questions is the key to unlocking your true purpose.
Guest Links:
- Joe’s LinkedIn
- Legacy Minded Ministries
- The Five and a Half Questions Everyone Must Answer
- 5 Mandates of a Legacy Minded Man
Credits: Host: Lisa Nichols, Executive Producer: Jenny Heal, Marketing Support: Landon Burke and Joe Szynkowski, Podcast Engineer: Portside Media
Lisa Nichols
Chromosomes. Little strands of nucleic acids and proteins are the fundamental genetic instructions that tell us who we are at birth. Most people are born with forty six chromosomes, but each year in the United States, about six thousand people are born with an extra chromosome, making them a person with Down syndrome. If you've ever encountered someone with Down syndrome, you know that they are some of the kindest, most joyful people you will ever meet. They truly have something extra. My name is Lisa Nichols, and for thirty years, I have been both the CEO of Technology Partners and the mother to Ali. Ali has something extra in every sense of the word. I have been blessed to be by her side as she impacts everyone she meets. Through these two important roles as CEO and mother to Ally, I have witnessed countless life lessons that have fundamentally changed the way I look at the world. While you may not have an extra chromosome, every leader has something extra that defines who you are. Join me as I explore the something extra in leaders from all walks of life and discover how that difference in each of them has made a difference in their companies, their families, their communities, and in themselves. If you like this episode today, please go to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and leave us a five star rating. Lisa Nichols
Before we get started, I'm excited to share that my book Something Extra is now available. It is rooted in the remarkable spirit of our daughter, Ally, and the heartfelt conversations we've had on the podcast. You'll find wisdom and practical tools to ignite the leader within you and uncover your own something extra. Visit something extra book dot com or find it at Amazon or in all major bookstores to order your copy today. I'm excited to have Joe Pellegrino on the show today. Joe is the founder and president of Legacy Minded Ministries and not just an average Joe. Well, Joe Pellegrino, welcome to the Something Extra podcast. I am so delighted that we were able to make this work today. Joe Pellegrino
Lisa, I'm so excited to be here. Lisa Nichols
It's gonna be fun. I you are just you are filled with so much wisdom, and I hope that we're just gonna get the tip of the iceberg. But what my hope is, Joe, that people will dig in further after this podcast and learn more. I mean, you've written eight books. You're doing so many different things. So there's no way we're gonna cover all of that, but I wanna get through, you know, as much as we can. I have to give a shout out to our mutual friend, Jim Bechtold. Joe Pellegrino
Jim. Lisa Nichols
Yay, Jim Bechtold. We love you, Jim. Jim is the one that connected us and said the two of you need to know one another, so I am grateful for him. But let me just read just a little bit, about your background for our listeners, and then we're gonna get into all kinds of things. But Joe Pellegrino is a men's pastor, author, speaker, certified Maxwell leadership trainer, consultant, entrepreneur, and you were also a chaplain for baseball, for the jackals. Right? You are the founder and president of Legacy Minded Ministries, which I really wanna dig into. The mission is to transform lives by engaging, encouraging, and equipping men to build Christ centered legacies. Joe also leads not just the average Joe, providing coaching, innovative consulting services to individuals and businesses. You've been featured on Fox News, TBN, numerous national radio programs, Focus on the Family. We love Focus on the Family. Family Life Radio. Yeah. So there there's a lot to you, Joe. And like I said, we're gonna try to get into it. But, you know, before we get into everything, why don't you because I think you grew up, correct, in New Jersey. Is that right? Yes. Take us back. What was life like, early life like for you? What did you like to do as a little boy? Tell me about your family, your, family origin. Joe Pellegrino
Well, I grew up in an Italian family with, four sisters, and it was a little bit different kind of an Italian family. Normally, their their hugs and kisses and all that kind of stuff, and I really didn't experience a lot of that growing up. So as the only boy, it was it was a little bit challenging. And I was very lonely as a kid. I had a lot of issues that I dealt with. And, you know, I recognized that it was really nice to have friends, but I didn't have real friends. And I I grew up in a world, my own world, where because I couldn't be the person I wanted to be, I made up a whole thing in my head about who I was. And and, Lisa, one of the great challenges with that is when you tell so many lies, you start believing them. So to this day, I don't know what actually transpired in my youth because I had this whole this this whole dream life. Right? And it just wasn't true. So I have to always go to my sister and say, well, did that really happen? Or did that really happen? And it's really it's it's kind of upsetting, but it's it's truth. It's it's what I was. Lisa Nichols
It's truth, and I think it's more common than we think. Joe Pellegrino
Mhmm. Lisa Nichols
Because I've known people that have struggled with the same thing. And, where were you in the birth order? Were you the baby, or where were you? Joe Pellegrino
No. I was the fourth. Actually, my three older sisters are fifteen, eleven, and eight years older than me. We were I was not supposed to happen, nor was my sister who came literally right after me. So I was not supposed to happen. And and it's funny because when I was born, my father made people wear masks around me, and they called me baby Jesus because he finally got a boy. You know? And it was, you know, and and he was an older man at the time. He was forty two, which today, we wouldn't consider that old for a for a dad. But back then, you know, in sixty two, it was. It was very, very different. And and I grew up with a dad who who loved me and certainly took care of me, but he really wasn't a great teaching dad, if you know what I mean. He just wasn't really there. And, so, you know, I never played ball with him that I recall. It it was it was just a little bit of a disconnect. And and and when you don't have that connection with your dad, you generally look for it in other areas. Lisa Nichols
Mhmm. Yeah. Well, I was just I was thinking to myself, where were you in the birth order? Because you really had four moms, I bet. Your older sisters were probably like moms too. Right? Joe Pellegrino
One of them, probably. Yeah. Not the other ones. It it was kinda like two different families, Lisa. I mean, you know, that my three sisters and when that we talk, it seems like they had different parenting than my me and my younger sister. And it's like, when they tell me about my parents, I'm like, really? But that's what they experienced. You know? So it was literally two different families because most of the time, my older sisters weren't in the house with me. Lisa Nichols
Right. Makes sense. It makes sense. Well, I know that you started your career, like, in publishing. You know? How did that, like, shape Yeah. And, of course, now you're, you know, you're an author. We've talked about that. But, you know, how did that shape, your approach to ministry later on? Joe Pellegrino
Actually, I started as an accountant. I was a staff accountant when I came out of college. Okay. I but I was always I always had the heart of an entrepreneur. So I would come in two hours early to that company, and they had this com this this thing it was called the an IBM computer. And this IBM computer had this thing called Lotus one two three on it. And I had failed computers three times in college, you know, Fortran and all that kind of stuff. But I figured if I come in and I break this thing, nobody's gonna know because nobody's there. But I ended up becoming proficient at it, and I rewrote a lot of the management reports. And I got two promotions before anybody ever got one promotion in company history, and it was a billion dollar company at the time. So I learned that and and that I be became in love with computers, and I realized I need to get out of here and start getting some real world experience understanding the business world. So after two years of being a staff accountant and achieving what I could, I went up to small companies. And I met a guy who became my mentor, a man who was ten years older than me. And what he would do is he literally left each job that I went to six months after I got there, and he would take me with me. He he took me with him, and each time I got a huge raise. So at the age of twenty seven, I'm making a lot of money, and I'm learning. And that's what then had me go on my own, and I was ill equipped to go on my own when I did. I made so many mistakes. I was broke. I had a wife and a baby, and I didn't know what to do. And that's when I met a friend who got me in the publishing world. Lisa Nichols
Ah, okay. Well, I'm glad that you I'm glad that you told me about that. That so you you finally did I mean, not discounting your dad, but you finally did have a man that came along and taught you. Joe Pellegrino
Yes. I did. And my wife my wife said, yeah, she asked me, why are you why are all your friends ten years older than you? And I said, it's very simple. Because they walk down the roads that I'm gonna walk, and I wanna know all the potholes, all the cracks that I need to avoid. And I can't do it with my contemporaries. I can only do it with those who have walked that road, and and that's really that really changed everything for me. Lisa Nichols
That, that's powerful. That's powerful. We we do need to have those people in our life that are going to be kind of I've got a friend, Jeremy Kubitec, and he says, you need Sherpas. You need Sherpas in your life, you know, that are gonna kinda lead and guide you. That should give people hope. Yeah. Because you said you'd failed every computer class, but you learned it. You figured it out. So, you know, we can move the needle on that. So, Joe, you describe yourself as a Dash enhancer. I absolutely love that because and explain I mean, I know what it is, but explain what you mean by that to the listeners. Joe Pellegrino
There are two dates that are the same for every person. Not the not the calendar date, but a birth date and a death date. Those are two days in our lives. Right? We cannot have any say in the birth date, and ninety nine point nine percent of us don't have any say in our death date. However, there is a dash that separates those two, and that represents the life lived by that particular person. What the lord has really shown me is that he has raised me up to be what I believe is a dash enhancer, which means that I need to be able to affect in a positive way the dash of all people that come into my view. Anybody that is requiring my assistance, I am required to enhance their dash. Point them in the right direction, encourage them, teach them, mentor them, whatever that might be. But that dash means a lot to me because that dash is not only that person's dash, that dash will affect generations to come. So if transition and changes need to happen right now, that's where somebody like me and and I know it's somebody like you as well. Be a dash enhancer because it is taking focus off of self and it's putting it on others. But it also it also trains you that leadership is essential, but leadership starts with self leadership. You need to lead yourself well. And when you do and you're self aware, you recognize that it's not about you. And I'm sorry to say that, but it's not about you. It's about everybody else who comes into your sphere of influence. And it is important that our life touches another life. Lisa Nichols
That is gold. That is gold. And I completely subscribe to that same idea that we are in leadership. And I say leadership is really stewardship. And it's stewarding, like in your case, helping steward that dash and helping people maximize that dash. And, you know, we're gonna really talk about that because I I love your five and a half questions book. And, you know, I feel like that that is, you know, a great place to start. But we'll we'll talk about that. So I know that you founded Legacy Minded Men in two thousand nine. Tell me about that. Joe Pellegrino
So Legacy Minded Men was founded because I my wife and I were operating a foundation called Adopt A Child, which provided abused children in New Jersey with gifts during Christmas. And we would arrange for I owned a newspaper at the time, so we put it on the front page, and we asked people to adopt kids. And the organization that we were working with gave us the name of the child, the age of the child, and their Christmas wish. And these people would adopt them for the Christmas season, wrap the gifts, label them properly, and then every Saturday in the month of November, people would bring those gifts. And we had cars. It was unbelievable. In, eleven years, we provided twenty thousand children with all the over fifty thousand gifts out of our home. We were the largest donor in the state of New Jersey. We were the volunteers of the year in the state of New Jersey in the year two thousand, yet I felt unfulfilled. And I believe the Lord started calling me and me saying, Joe, men need help. You need help. You need to to surround yourself with the right men. Start this. And I launched Legacy Minded Men. And Legacy Minded Men launched, as you mentioned, in June of two thousand and nine. We are now in forty one countries. We are content creators and providers. And legacy minded men was then birthed a year ago into legacy minded ministries because we felt that it wasn't just about the men. We were catering to men. We were educating men on what it means to be a Christ centered legacy minded man. But at the same time, they have wives, they have children, they have brothers, they have sisters, whatever it might be. And we did not wanna neglect them when they were coming to our site. So we wanted to provide them with legacy minded everything. Legacy minded women, legacy minded youth, legacy minded leaders, legacy minded athletes, anything legacy minded that not only we could do, but also teaming up because I believe in strategic partnerships, Lisa. I believe in collaboration. We don't all have the answers, but the body of Christ is all about working together for the greater good of others. And that's what legacy minded is. So all of the legacy minded ministries have sub ministries, and those sub ministries could be, you know, focused on the family for the for legacy minded families, etcetera. You you get it. But the reality is we don't have to be the experts. All we need to do is be the ones that are getting it out there. Lisa Nichols
Yeah. Kind of the the connector with all of that. Right? The connector. I love that. Well, let me ask you. Because you you'd said, you know, this, you know, get the mission of helping men living these, you know, Christ centered life. What do you think are some of those biggest challenges right now, that men face or you could say women too? I mean, either one. Joe Pellegrino
I I think it's both men and women. We are going through the greatest identity crisis in world history. There is an identity thief out there who is stealing the true identities of people. And that's really why I wrote the book, The Five and a Half Questions Everyone Must Answer, because we've been indoctrinated to believe certain things about ourselves. We also have belief grafted from other people, meaning that we've we have taken on and adopted other people's belief systems as our own without ever putting them to the test. And at the end of the day, Lisa, the way I look at things, is our belief system, that which we believe about our existence, who we are, that is foundational to every single thing in our life. Every decision we will make is built and linked to that foundation. And if that foundation is being built on sinking sand, we are in trouble for the rest of our lives. Why don't we put to the test our belief system? And be to be very frank with you, I had to do this. And all I could find, if I may say so, is that Jesus Christ is the only way. He is exactly who he said, and that's the foundation I've chosen to build my life on and to share that good news. You know, people can accept or reject that. That's that's your that's that's their choice. Right. All I can do is what I believe I'm supposed to do. When you hear good news, you wanna share good news with people. That's what it means to love people. That's truly what it means to love people, is to let them know that if you step out on that curb, you're gonna get hit by that bus. Don't step on the curb. But it's your choice. It's your choice. Lisa Nichols
Yeah. Well, it's your testimony. Right? It's your testimony, and you see how that's transformed your life. Yes. And, again, Joe, I just wanna say we have listeners of all face, and you do not have to subscribe to that. Joe's just telling us, you know, what has worked for him, and it has worked. And, he has found that to be his truth. So I love that you shared that. Well, let me ask you this, and I think that this is really important, and this is probably legacy minded men. I'm sure this is part of that, but accountability and community. How what how does that play in, to, you know, this, you know, spiritual transformation that you were, leading men through? Joe Pellegrino
Let me say it this way. Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. The people that you surround yourself with, if you look at their lives, guess what? It's probably gonna be your life too. Now I wanna have a little caveat. Only if it's real, the real relationships. So I believe in the power of the inner circle. And the inner circle basically says, who I let into my inner circle are the people that I wanna learn from, what I wanna grow from. I want these people to be the people that actually push me forward to get to where I'm supposed to be. But in truth, so many of our relationships are well, they're crabs in a bucket. And what crabs in a bucket is if you put crabs in a bucket when you catch them, almost always, one will try to escape and the others will pull him back down. That's where most people fall short is by surrounding themselves with the wrong people, and these wrong people are holding them back. They're I talked earlier about the person that was ten years older than me so that I can learn. He genuinely wanted to see me grow and be all that I could be. And the reality is most of us are a jealous breed. We don't want people to succeed because then we get we have to look in the mirror and say, well, gee, I I guess I gotta work harder. I I don't wanna work harder. I'm so happy in my comfort zone. Well, guess what? Nothing great ever happens in a comfort zone. Maybe some relaxation, but that's it. We need to step out. We need to step out and be people of action. Not people of talk, but people of action, and that action needs to be based on our foundational beliefs, And those foundational beliefs better be tested. Lisa Nichols
Mhmm. That's good. That is so good. Well, I kinda wanna move in because, like I said, you've written eight books. And I wanna move into a few of these so that we can just talk about it. You've got Safe at Home. That was your very first book. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And that was about baseball. Right? That was when you were Joe Pellegrino
a captain. Christian baseball players. Yeah. And, it was there's a a great quick story I've gotta tell because we're talking about we talked earlier about not quitting and persevering. I wanted to write a book about Christian baseball players, but I had two problems. I couldn't write. And number two, I didn't know any of the players. Well, I solved the couldn't write part by found finding a a coauthor who I still have not met to this day thirty some years later. But he did the writing. I did all the recordings of the players on cassette tape. But the the way I found about the players was this. It's amazing story. I I had a partner at the time who was a former Major League player, and he gave me something called the Major League Baseball Players Guide, which I consider to be the holy grail of baseball. It had everything a to z, and the first thing that was listed was baseball chapel. And I noticed it was in Bloomingdale, New Jersey, which was ten minutes from my house. I called the number, and the executive director's name was Dave Swanson. I said, hi, mister Swanson. My name is Joe Pellegrino. I love the Lord, and I wanna write a book about Christian baseball players. Can you help me? And he says, Joe, why don't you call me in three months? I look at the phone. I'm like, okay. I hang up. I call him in three months. Joe, why don't you call me in three months? I hang up. I call him back in three months. Joe, why don't you call me in three months? We are now one full year. One full year. And I said, I'm gonna call one more time. I call him up, and he says, Joe, meet me at the Kinlan Spa Diner, a diner down the street in twenty minutes. I ran upstairs, put a suit on, bolted out the door. I get to the front of the diner, and there's a six foot three bald man with a scowl on his face. And I said, mister Swanson. He simply nodded. He opened the door for me to go into the diner. And as I'm walking in, he hands me a piece of paper. He goes to the waitress. I quickly look on the paper. It was all the names of the Major League players who attended baseball chapel on a Sunday. We're walking to the table. I couldn't wait. I grabbed by the back of the shirt. I said, mister mister Swanson, why now? He said, Joe, sit down. My family owned Thomas English muffins. I was in charge of purchasing. I never bought the first time a salesman came. I never bought the second time. I never bought the third time. But he said if that guy persevered for that fourth time, he had a customer for life. You just did it. I would, wow. Lisa Nichols
Wow. Joe Pellegrino
That man became my surrogate father, my mentor. He got me involved in baseball chapel, and he introduced me to so many incredible people. And it was because I didn't quit. I persevered. And that's a message I keep telling everybody, don't quit. It's so easy to quit. It's so hard to persevere, but the it's so worth getting over that mountain. The climb may be tough, but it's so easy. It's so great to get over that mountain. Lisa Nichols
That is a great lesson. Don't quit. Just because if you had, if you'd said, okay, I guess he, you know, really just does not wanna meet with me. Goodness gracious. That would have changed the trajectory of your life. Joe Pellegrino
I would not be speaking with you right now, Lisa. Lisa Nichols
Right. Joe Pellegrino
If that didn't happen, I promise you that. Lisa Nichols
Yeah. I love that story. Thank you so much for sharing that. Well, I want to I wanna get into, the book five and a half questions. We've already, talked about this a little bit, but it's five and a half questions everyone must answer, in search of purposeful identity. And, you know, I love this because you wrote it with your daughter, Jennifer Joe Pellegrino
Yes. Lisa Nichols
Too, which is really how how was that? How special was that? Joe Pellegrino
She's a writer, and I had written the first book that was basically two Christian people. And then my daughter said, dad, you know, this this book will be far more effective if we just put it out for everybody. And she was right. And we ended up getting it into the worst school system in America, in Detroit. And it is for five years now being taught by two former NFL players and two former WNBA players very successfully. And it it just excites me because I listened to her. She also wrote a full curriculum for schools that's incredibly in-depth. And, again, it just makes kids ask these questions because when you're growing up, especially in middle school, you wanna know the answer to these questions. But if you don't ever ask yourself or more importantly, if you don't really dig in on these questions because I can I can give a surface answer to any question? Right, Lisa? But the reality is when you're serious about transformation, when you're serious about finding out who you really are and why you really are, you're gonna dig deep. And that's that's what we hope for in this book. Lisa Nichols
I love it. I love it so much. Well, you know, I'm just gonna run through these real quick. But the five and a half questions, what are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What are you passionate about? What is your brand? What do you believe? And then the half question is why. And then you've got purposeful identity. You've got a lot of other chapters in here as well. The power of attitude. That's what you had is the power of attitude, not quitting, right, and the persevering. But, you know, I just think it's so good, Joe, and I've told you offline. What I love about this book is there are just tons of questions, tons of questions all throughout the book. And you and I had talked, and we're usually running we we usually are running about two hundred miles an hour. We never take the time to ask ourselves these questions. And and other people may not be asking us these questions either. So then That's right. Right? And I just I always say you gotta have a meeting with yourself every now and then. Yes. And really kinda dig deep. But, you know, how are you wired? What drives you? What do you really value? What are your values? I don't know that people really take the time to say, okay. You know, is it faith? Is it family? Is it you know, what what are my values? Yeah. I love these, on, the right soil and food, what you're putting into your your mind. You said, what are you reading? What are you listening to? What are you writing? How are you spending your downtime? What are you watching? That's all really important. Right? Because it informs some of the answers to those questions, I think. But you know what? What? Tell me about, like, the curriculum in the schools. What are you guys seeing with the schools that are using this, the curriculum that Jennifer wrote? Joe Pellegrino
Well, Jennifer actually was hired by a school to write the curriculum, so she was teaching and writing it at the same time. And the principal who sent me a lovely testimonial said, Joe, this is going to impact generations to come. And that's all I care about. Again, you know, it's so amazing how one life touches another. And John Maxwell said it best when somebody asked him. He said, you know, why do you write so many books? John asked somebody, why do you write so many books? And the person said, because I can touch lives that I'll never ever meet. I'll never meet these people, but I can touch them through my words. And that just resonates with me so much. And that's why it's so important to me to share these things and recognize that, you know what, my life does matter. Your life does matter. Lisa, you know your life matters because of what you're doing as well. The truth of the matter is everybody has greatness in them. It's how to pull that greatness out of you. That's where you need the help most of the time. That's where I needed the help and to find out who I really was. Purposeful identity. We all exist because we want purpose in life. When we're we have this giant hole in us that can't be filled because we don't have that purpose. We don't know who we are, and that's why the book was written. So the curriculum is simply designed to get people thinking, specifically kids, and get them thinking and asking questions. Lisa Nichols
I love it. Joe Pellegrino
That's a great thing. Lisa Nichols
I love it. I love it. And I'm so grateful that you're starting with kids because, you know, maybe they won't get to be our age, Joe. Joe Pellegrino
That's right. Lisa Nichols
We're trying to figure it out. Right? Joe Pellegrino
That's right. Lisa Nichols
Oh my goodness. Well, I have a lot more than I wanna talk about, but we do need to take a quick break, and we'll be right back on the Something Extra podcast with Joe Pillegrino. AD
In business, the tendency is to seek out partners who are bigger, faster, stronger. When it comes to IT, you should be looking for smarter, faster, better. That's just what you'll find with the talented technologists at Technology Partners. Our experts develop custom solutions to tackle your most complex challenges, all to simplify your processes in the smartest, most efficient way possible. The time to be swift and nimble starts now. Go to technology partners dot net slash solutions and see what's possible. Lisa Nichols
Welcome back, everyone, to the Something Extra podcast with Joe Pellegrino. We have just been having an amazing conversation. Joe is so wise and has so much, inspiration to to share with you guys, and I'm just I'm really excited about, everything that you guys are gonna learn from this from this, episode here. But Joe is a father and grandfather. You got three grown children, right, and four grandchildren. You what have you learned, Joe, about leaving a spiritual legacy for your family? Joe Pellegrino
I've learned what not to do. I've made so many mistakes. I've learned not what what not to do, but I could tell you this. You know, when we talk about a spiritual legacy, we have to first look at the word legacy, which is often misunderstood. Legacy, by definition, is anything that we that is bequeathed to somebody else, whether it be property or cash or whatever it might be. That's leaving something to someone. I like a better definition. I think a powerful legacy is not just what we leave to someone, but what we leave in someone. Here's why. If I leave something to someone, whether it's a business or finances or whatever, it's known that in a generation and a half, it's gone. Why? Well, I believe it's because that person didn't really appreciate it. They didn't build it. They didn't they didn't sweat and toil. They simply enjoyed it. And, therefore, when you're enjoying something, a lot of times you don't steward it well, and you let it go. However, when you sow into somebody's legacy, real powerful legacy inside someone, it is generational. It changes the game, and that's where I wanna be. So I recognized at one point that I was not going down the right road. I was not the man that god built me to be, and I needed to change. And it wasn't easy. I like I said, I told so many lies when I was a kid that to this day, I don't know what actually happened. So when my life changed, my family, my my, you know, my my parents and my sisters, they didn't really believe that I was changing because I was such a I was a con man. I was a thief. I was a liar. I was a cheat. That's what I was. And now I'm this different guy, and and it took years for people to recognize that, well, maybe this isn't another scam. Maybe this isn't another act. But, you know, it's worth it. Everything was worth it because of what god is doing now in me. And looking at my family and seeing who the who the the people that they are, that is incredible to me. I mean, I could get welled up just thinking about my family and and just I mean, I love them so much and and the people that they are. I it's just incredible. So, you know, legacy is we're all writing a legacy. We are all writing one right now. The great news is if your legacy stinks, it can change today. Today could be the day you change that legacy. Lisa Nichols
That is so good. That is so good. Yeah. It's not what you leave to someone. It's what you leave in them. Yep. And the cool thing about that, it's not just your family. Joe, it's everyone that is in your sphere of influence. You can leave a legacy in that person by depositing good things in them. I love that so much. Well, you and Bethany have been married for at least, what, thirty nine years, almost forty years? Joe Pellegrino
Yeah. Lisa Nichols
Bethany and Joe Pellegrino
I Bethany and I are gonna be married forty years next year, which is unbelievable to me. But, yes, forty years, three grown children, four grandchildren, one on the way. Lisa Nichols
Oh my goodness. How wonderful is that? Well, you gotta start planning something, Joe. You know? We are. Big, really big. We are. I'll give you a little I'll give you a little nugget. I've got a really dear friend, and he planned it was, like, their thirtieth. And he planned something every day for thirty days. And it's like, you know, all of the guys are like, you're setting us all up for, you know, failure here, but it was cool. It was cool. He called it a palooza. Joe Pellegrino
You know, Lisa Nichols
the thirty thirty day palooza. Well, I can Joe Pellegrino
tell you something that I did for my wife's sixtieth birthday. The sixty days before her birthday, every day on the mirror, I would scribble something I loved about her on a on a, you know, sticky note, and I'd put it on the mirror for her to sing for sixty days. So we did a sixty day countdown. Lisa Nichols
Oh. That is wonderful. Well, tell me this, and then I've got a couple other questions for you that I'm I'm anxious to dig into. But what's your best advice for building a Christ centered marriage? Joe Pellegrino
Well, honestly, it's been we've had rocky roads. We've had challenges. But I think the line of communication is extraordinarily important. But for first and foremost, it's understanding that marriage is is a journey, not a destination. You know, that there are gonna be changes. There are gonna be chunk struggles. I mean, think about it. Two families are coming together, and they're they're colliding. And as as it was for my wife and I, my wife came from a big Italian family. I did too, but we were quiet. They weren't. So we swept things under the rug. They talked about things. You know? So two worlds colliding. It's it's it's it's a journey. And you have to recognize that you're in it for the long haul, and I'm not going anywhere. We're gonna be here no matter what. So let's make this work, and let's have some fun doing it. Lisa Nichols
Yeah. I love that. And I tell people all the time, if people tell you that there's not issues or problems, it's either they're either lying to you or they're sweeping stuff under the rug and not dealing with it. Right, Joe? Absolutely. Because there's no perfect. But it is. It's that just that commitment to go, no. We're, you know, we're here and we're gonna make work. Right? So Yes. I love that. This is really I'm anxious to hear what you say about this because you wrote Fathers Say, the book Fathers Say, and it's really about giving the gift of a blessing over your children. You know, what have you learned about the words that we say? I mean, I love what you just you gave our listeners an idea. I love what you did with your wife, you know, and just saying, putting those little post its on there about what you love about her. But the power of our words, either negative or positive, right, Joe, can make the biggest difference, change the trajectory of someone's life, truly. Joe Pellegrino
Let let's let we have to, first of all, break break the mold here and say there's a blessing and there are words of encouragement. Words of encouragement is, you know, you're great, you're a great player, you're this and that. Words of blessing are different. Words of blessing are raining down God's blessing on another person. It's asking to bless them. And I I learned this through one of our Legacy Minda Men conferences where a gentleman who, was my worship leader, he was up there and he said to me, Joe, would you allow me to do something different? I said, what is it? He said, just trust me. His father was a famous salsa player, very famous. And, he had an he was on an album cover of his that had him showing like a Superman s on his chest. And he was talking about his dad, and he was saying, you know, everybody loved my dad, but I never really got a lot of his time. And I never really received a blessing from him. And he said, today, I wanna offer you, meaning the the crowd, the ability to get a blessing. And we called a bunch of pastors and leaders to the front of the room, and we asked people to come forward. Lisa, ninety five percent of the men jumped up and ran to receive a blessing. So many of them crying. I remember one man not being able to get out of his seat because he was bawling his eyes out because he was reflecting on his negative relationship with his father. Young, old, seventy years old, didn't matter. And I realized, oh my goodness. This is this is powerful. And so then I I decided to reach out to a guy who wrote a book called The Blessing. His name is doctor John Trent. And, John, I said, John, how about we team up and let's take what you wrote thirty years ago that impacted my life, and let's do something really cool and do blessing day, where we challenge people to bless their children, grandchildren, and those they're mentoring. And do it not only face to face, but record it on video so that they have your words and they can look in your eyes for all time. So if you if you do it before they're they go to college, when they go down that bad road that they might travel down, they can always have the words to come back to. When you're no longer there, they can always have your words. When you're no longer there and they have children of their own, they can pass grandpa's message of blessing right down the line. That's the power of the blessing, and we're hoping to make, the Sunday before Thanksgiving every year, National Blessing Day. And we've asked the president of the United States to sign a proclamation to do just that. Lisa Nichols
Oh, I hope you get that passed. That is so powerful. I love that so much. Wow. Well okay. So I love what you say about this. I'm talking about legacy. You said life is God's gift to us. The legacy you leave behind is your gift to him. Joe Pellegrino
Yep. I believe that. Beautiful. Without a doubt. Lisa Nichols
I I do too. Joe Pellegrino
Life life is a gift. The no matter what our circumstances in life are, it's a gift. And we talked about attitude before. I I wanna share something about attitude that maybe you or your your audience hasn't heard before. But attitude to me is a divine word. Why? At least in the English language, it is. Because if you take the word and spell it out, a t t I t u d e, and you put the new numeric value to each one of those letters, a being one, t being twenty, etcetera, and you add it up, it equals one hundred. And the reason why that is so powerful to me is because we talk about giving a hundred and ten percent. There's no such thing. The maximum effort anybody can give is one hundred percent. However, you can give ninety, you can give seventy, and you can give fifty. So attitude, which is the only thing we can the only thing we can control in our lives is attitude. Yes. Our response Responsitions. Any situation Lisa Nichols
Mhmm. Is Joe Pellegrino
the only thing we can control. So if we get this understanding that attitude, if we're positive, if we recognize I'm gonna give a hundred percent of my attitude, Watch what happens around you. You you will be so incredibly attractive to people. They're gonna be drawn to you. They're gonna wanna know what you know because it's a difference maker. Yeah. Lisa Nichols
And you Joe Pellegrino
know what? That's what makes you a Dash enhancer when you have the right attitude, understanding that I am not first. As a matter of fact, I'm not even second. I'm third. In my book, and this is me. Everybody has their own. God first, family second, and and everybody else actually second, and me last. I wanna be able to bless other people. And that's why the passion answer is so important to me. Lisa Nichols
That is so cool. I love that you figured that out. The the hundred. Yeah. I I love that. I love that because we cannot we can't even control the events that happen in our life sometimes. Right? But, y'all, we can we can control our response Joe Pellegrino
That's correct. Lisa Nichols
To those And by the Joe Pellegrino
way, I did not figure that out. Somebody else shared it. Lisa Nichols
Somebody else shared it. Well, I love it. I know. Whoever did that, we're giving credit to you, but I love that. I will not forget that. Well, I this one is just so I mean, this is not just for men, but this is, like, for everybody. You know, we live in a very digitally connected world, but sometimes relationally disconnected. You know, what do you have to say about that? And what do you how do you, coach men or women on this, Joe? Because boy, it's, I I worry really even about our kids today, you know, with how digitally they're connected, but then not being able to hold a face to face conversation. Joe Pellegrino
Think about this. We are born to be relational. We are born to be relational. Your gifts are not my gifts. Your weaknesses are not my weaknesses. Your passions are not my passions. The reality is we need others to help us achieve what we need to achieve. And when you sit in front of a screen or or playing games all day, you're interacting with something that is not real. And you you, first of all, will lose your identity in something like that. You certainly will will not understand what your purpose is because you can really never understand what your true purpose is until you know what your true identity is. That's what purposeful identity is. It's all understanding that identity feeds and fuels purpose. As a matter of fact, I call this convergence. When you take the strengths that you've been given and you take the passion that you have and you have that intersecting point, it usually will point directly to what your purpose in life is. As a matter, it comes to a point. It's a place of convergence, yet we rarely look at that. And in order to achieve that, we need to recognize there are certain people that will help fill those holes that we have. Those relationships are extraordinarily important. Curb your understanding and use of social media. Curb your gaming. And understand that there are real people out there. Real people that you may not wanna really associate with right now because you don't think they wanna associate with you. But you know what? We're all different, and we're all unique. We're all different, we're all unique, but we all need each other. Mhmm. That is extremely powerful. Right. If somebody disagrees with you on something, respect their decision. Ask questions about what they believe, why they believe it, and have a discussion instead of some presupposed or preconceived notion that they're wrong and they're evil and they're they're haters and they're this. That's just not the case most of the time. But if we ask questions Lisa Nichols
Yes. Joe Pellegrino
We get to know people. When we get to know people, it takes down all the guards Mhmm. And we start having relationship. Lisa Nichols
Yeah. We're all different. I'm glad that you I'm glad that you said that, Joe, because I feel the same way about that. I I kinda go back to Covey, seek to understand. Right? The only way you can understand is if you will sit there and ask the questions. Right? And, yeah, I think that that's where relationship is truly solidified. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna ask you this, and then we're gonna talk about something extra. You got something really exciting that you're working on now, something that I had not really heard about, and it's all about baseball. Tell our listeners real quickly about that, and then I wanna talk about something extra. Joe Pellegrino
Yeah. We're looking to create, some digital baseball cards, for players who want to share their faith. And those digital baseball cards are high quality cards that we equip the players with to give out to fans. They sign them and give them out. On the back of the card is a QR code, which will take them to a website where the player will share their testimony. They'll share their life, and they'll share all the different experiences that they've had. At the same time, we'll be able to share other players' testimonies as they go on to that site. And that will lead us to something we call travel chapel, where the same player that's giving the testimony will also give us several stories from their lives, and we'll match that story with a message that we'll be able to deliver to kids who can't go to church on Sunday. And they'll be able to get a digital download of a church service, if you will, that's led by the player and somebody like, well, me. And the reality is it helps kids connect, understanding, you know, helping build their faith and giving them really encouraging words. So we're real excited about that. That's scheduled to launch in, spring of twenty twenty six. So we're waiting to hear final details on that, but we do expect that to happen. Lisa Nichols
That is so cool. I love that. I had not heard of anything like that, and I'm thinking in my mind because I'm kind of a connector. I'm thinking, oh, I need to tell I need to connect Joe and this person. So we'll talk about that offline. Well, Joe, this is called something extra, and this is the question that I ask every one of my guests. What do you believe is this something extra that every leader needs? Joe Pellegrino
It's very simple. We've already touched on two of the pieces, but I believe there's three that are connected. The first one is attitude. Have the right attitude. Attitude is is incredibly important. And, again, only thing we can control. When we have the right attitude, it will connect us to that dash enhancer within us that we ignite, we get excited about, and we recognize that life is not about our it's not our it's not our own. It's to be lived properly and to be lived for others. And when you understand those two components, it'll lead to what I consider to be the most powerful type of leadership, which is legacy minded leadership. Understanding that I am going to share with my team. Like, for example, one of my goals with my team is I will actually you know how we have annual reviews for our employees? I'll have an annual review for me, and I'll ask my Lisa Nichols
how Joe Pellegrino
can I serve you better? Mhmm. Because I truly believe in in steward leadership. You know, leading by you know, being a being a good solid steward and understanding that I want to serve you. I wanna be a servant leader. And how can I best do that for you? How can I get you to a place that's better than me? How can you become a better leader than I am? Because I am not a great leader. I want you to be better. And that's the key. So I think it starts with attitude, which under unlocks the dash enhancer in us that helps us to become a legacy minded leader and rule under legacy minded leadership. Lisa Nichols
That's beautiful. Well, Joe, this has been so much fun. I seriously think that we could do a five hour podcast and not run out of things to talk about. But we won't do that to our listeners. Maybe we'll do a part two down the road. But, listeners, I mean, I I hope that you, have just garnered so much wisdom and insights here. Go and follow Joe. Look at what he's doing. Go to the website. Get his books. He's got eight books out there. Like I said, I've got, I've got the five questions, five and a half questions that everyone must answer, and it's really fantastic. So I just know the rest of them are the same way. And, Joe, thank you so much for Joe Pellegrino
Thank you. Lisa Nichols
Making the time to be on the show. Joe Pellegrino
Thank you. God bless you. Lisa Nichols
Yes. You too. Announcer
Thank you for listening to today's show. Something Extra with Lisa Nichols is a Technology Partners production. Copyright Technology Partners, Inc, two thousand and nineteen. For show notes or to reach Lisa, visit tpi dot co slash podcast. Don't forget to leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, or wherever you listen.