A Journey of Surrender w/ Brandon Bettis
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Transcript
Explore the powerful story of Brandon Bettis, Director of Client Enrichment at EPIC Holistic Partners, who transitioned from the "Valley of Death" in Afghanistan to a high-stakes career in financial services. Despite reaching the summit of professional success and personal stability, Brandon reveals the hidden struggle of wearing a mask while battling deep internal hopelessness. He shares the pivotal moment in the Ohio wilderness where he traded his self-reliance for a life of surrender, offering profound insights into the humility and resilience required to lead with true impact.
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Credits: Host: Lisa Nichols, Executive Producer: Jenny Heal, Marketing Support: Landon Burke and Joe Szynkowski, Podcast Engineer: Portside Media
Brandon Bettis
So, like, on paper, like, I like to describe my my testimony is, like, I had, like, a perfect life. I mean, the snapshot of my life was was amazing. I was in I was I called myself incredibly blessed. So I had two careers that I loved. When I when I left the military, I was fortunate enough to to kinda land in the financial services world. And so I had two careers that I loved, that I was extremely blessed and fortunate to have. I had a a beautiful, loving wife, that was supportive. She was amazing. She supported my entire career. I had two happy, healthy daughters, just wonderful financial independence, and and I was suicidal. Lisa Nichols
It takes something a little more to lead with impact. I'm Lisa Nichols, author of Something Extra, and this podcast was inspired by our daughter, Allie, whose additional chromosome has shaped how I see people in leadership. Each episode features conversations with inspiring leaders from around the world about what truly defines how they lead and serve others. If you enjoyed today's conversation, please consider leaving a five star review. It helps more people discover the show. And if you'd like to go deeper, my book, Something Extra, is available on on Amazon and through other major book retailers. I'm grateful to have Brandon Bettis on the show today. Brandon is the director of client enrichment at Epic Holistic Partners. Well, Brandon, welcome to the Something Extra podcast. It is so good to see you again. Brandon Bettis
Yes, ma'am. I'm excited to be here. Thanks for having me. Lisa Nichols
I am excited. I'm excited about our conversation today. And you and I are recent friends. Brandon Bettis
Yep. Lisa Nichols
Right? We we met just a couple of months ago at the Realign conference here in, Saint Louis. And I was so impressed, Brandon, because you you saw it somewhere, and you just you came. You live in Phoenix, and, you just hopped on a plane and came. So Yeah. Brandon Bettis
It was it was a it was a it was one of those things I met I met Matt virtually, Matt Granados. He was, speaking at a c suite for Christ virtual event. And, man, there's just something different that he said and talking about the gap between optimal performance and, just that little that little hump to get over sometimes, like, in our professional lives. And, you know, know, after a couple of conversations with him, I was just interested in I started kinda doing the homework that he gave us, a little bit of content that he had. And after a conversation with him so last year, I kinda had a theme for the year of being content. And I think I got too content in some areas where I wasn't living my full potential, and I was like, you know, there's something more that I could be doing. And then this year, my theme has been to get uncomfortable to for discomfort, because sometimes that's where we see a lot of growth and we get out through our comfort zone. And so this was part of that was part of the reason why. I was like, you know, let me let me pay the fee to go to this conference. I'm not even sure what we're gonna talk about. I have no idea. And I literally went into it with I'm like, okay. Worst case scenario, it's a trip to Saint Louis, and it's a waste of time and it's a waste of money. That's literally the worst case scenario, and then it's a learning experience. But, man, it was such a good conference. To so many good people in the room. Such a good, use of two days, and it was really pivotal. So now it's now I'm gonna still see okay. What are you gonna do to apply this? What are you gonna do to apply the things you learn and continue to get uncomfortable? So, yeah, that's how we met. Met as strangers, left as friends, and now here we are. So Lisa Nichols
And here we are. I know you and I had a one day where we sat down at lunch together. And, after hearing your story, I'm like, Brandon, I really if you're open to it, I really want you to come on to the Something Extra podcast because you have got quite the story that I really do believe God's gonna use to help a lot of people. So I'm just really excited about it, but let's go back. I know that you're native of Arizona. Yep. Now tell me about this. I did not know this about you until I started researching, but I know you were in the marching band, and you played the sousaphone. Brandon Bettis
I did. Yeah. Lisa Nichols
So Which is in the the tuba family. Brandon Bettis
Yep. Yep. It's, technically, they're different, but I just call it tuba. And, you know, but, yeah, sousaphone is the big instrument. My mom loved it because, it was a three hundred person marching band at Arizona State University, and and she always loved it because she always knew exactly where I was. Because I was the tallest person on the field with carrying the tallest instrument, and she could pick me out of a three hundred person marching band. But, yeah, sometimes when I share my testimony in different audiences because I I share my testimony a lot with military and first responders and, like Lisa Nichols
Yes. Brandon Bettis
You know, like, men men and and and part of it is men aren't very good at being vulnerable. We're not good about sharing our deepest, darkest secrets because Right. We wanna we wanna keep those to ourselves and think that I'm the only person struggling with whatever you're struggling with, whatever traumas you had in your life. Mhmm. And so I kinda use that as a joke and icebreaker where I, you know, kinda pretend I'm getting emotional. I was like, you know, there's a part of my testimony I don't like to talk about in front of manly men. And I Lisa Nichols
I thought about Brandon Bettis
I was a band nerd. And I I played in the marching band, and I loved it. I I really enjoyed it. And the cool part about that story is that's how I met my wife. Lisa Nichols
Yes. That's how you met Erin, I think. Right? Brandon Bettis
Yeah. So we were, you know, part of the marching band, and I like to joke that I'm the man of her dreams, like, literally. We we had friends together, but she had a dream one night about, running through a field of wheat with a guy. And she wakes up and she's like, who is that? That was weird. I I have no idea who this person is. And the next day, she saw me at band practice from from across the field, and she's like, wait a minute. That's the guy from my dream. And, she asked her friend. She's like, who is that? And I was fairly, you know, well known in the band mostly for my shenanigans and, you know, just being a dumb college kid. And, and she's like, you don't know you don't know Brandon? Like, everyone knows Brandon. And so she started watching me over the next couple weeks. And I have no idea what she saw in me, but, I mean, I was just I had an afro, and I was just a I was burping, and I was just a drunkard. And for some reason, you know, she put it in the ear of her friend that said, hey. Someone has a crush on you. And as soon as I saw her, I was like, well, I have a crush on her too. And so and we started dating, and that was, that was about twenty three years ago. So we've been together since. So Lisa Nichols
Oh my goodness. And you have two beautiful girls now that we'll talk about Yeah. Brandon Bettis
In a Lisa Nichols
little bit. Brandon Bettis
Seventeen and fourteen. Right? Lisa Nichols
Yeah. Yes. Kennedy and Whitney. Brandon Bettis
Yes, ma'am. I like Lisa Nichols
love both of those names. I love both of those names. Well, you you went from being a band nerd to an infantry officer in the army. Tell me about that story because you spent ten years, and you did a lot, and we're gonna talk a little bit about that. But what was that? Did you always know that you wanted to be in the military? You did. Brandon Bettis
Yep. Yeah. My dad was a Green Beret in Vietnam. He wasn't, like, a super stud soldier, you know, but, you know, he he had a Green Beret. He served a couple years. I think he only served about three or four years in the army. But as a young man, as a young kid, I would see his military equipment. And, you know, I just I you know, being a young boy, like, just growing up playing bad guys and playing war and playing GI Joe and stuff, that that seed was planted in me very early on Lisa Nichols
Mhmm. Brandon Bettis
To serve my country and and be be a be a soldier. And so, in fact, you know, dating my wife, like like, I almost dropped out of college after nine eleven to go join, like, right away. And, and I had some wise counsel that said, hey. You know, finish school. The war will still be there. And, you know, early on, I was like, no. It's gonna be fast. Like, I need to go over there, and I need to go do the thing. And so I listened to the wise counsel, got my degree, and then went as an officer. But but, yeah, like, even even dating Aaron, it was about three, four months into our relationship. It was it was starting to get serious. And, I I told her foolishly, I said, hey. If you ever make me choose between you and the military, like, I'm I'm choosing the military. Like, I I need to go serve my country. Lisa Nichols
Right. Brandon Bettis
I want to go serve my country. So, yeah, that was I was laser focused on, going in the military. Lisa Nichols
Yeah. Well, thank you. Thank you, Brandon, for your service. Thank you for your service. You, wait. Tell me this. Like, what my dad was a marine. My father-in-law was a sergeant in the army. My husband's uncle was a Green Beret. I mean, we didn't go in the military, but my dad always said the military will turn a boy into man faster than anything. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, the things that you learn. Right? You know, what did you what did it really teach you about stewardship, Brandon, that you've even carried into your civilian world? Brandon Bettis
Yeah. I think the biggest things it taught me as far as, you know, just, like you said, turning a boy into a man. There's a lot that goes into the military. Even if you don't serve in combat, even if you don't serve a long career, but just that, that mentality of of breaking people down, like, the military does a good job of, you know, just learning a discipline, learning character, learning how to work hard, learning real resiliency. There's so many tangible skills, life skills that the military can teach people. Mhmm. I'm a I'm a big believer and proponent of the military is going to, expand whoever you are, before you join. So if you're Lisa Nichols
I like that. Brandon Bettis
You know, if you're if you have if you're a wayward person, and and and, unfortunately, there's a lot of people that go into the military and they leave worse. Mhmm. It'll it'll expand your natural character. So if you're if you have a little bit of leadership, it's going to expand it. But if you have, just a little bit of rebellion, it might expand that too. And, unfortunately, it can go both ways. But for the most part, it really taught me a lot. I I think the two biggest things that it taught me, was decision making, how to make a decision, how to analyze a problem, handle how to quick quickly make a decision. And then number two, just that general leadership aspect of of serving others, and going above and beyond to put their needs above your own. Mhmm. There's a lot of veterans that, you know yes. There's national pride. Yes. There's, you know, dying for the constitution. Yes. There's freedom. Like, all the kind of big hallmark things that people have to hold on to. Lisa Nichols
Right. Brandon Bettis
But the vast majority of of veterans, they say, you know, why did you do the thing you did? And they'll say, it's because of the guy next to me. It's because of the the other men that I served with. Like, I'm not brave. I didn't do these things. It was because I cared more about the person next to me, and and it wasn't necessarily for freedom. We're not we're not trying to, you know, America I don't think America's freedom is is at stake, especially my generation. Like, our freedom, our constitution was never really threatened, but it was more of, just that idea of defending the freedom, but then also just defending our brother's total Lisa Nichols
The brother brother and sisterhood there. Yeah. Brandon Bettis
Yeah. Lisa Nichols
That's I mean, some of my dad's lifelong friends were from the military. Yeah. Brandon Bettis
When you go through even even not even without combat, like, when you go through hardship with somebody, whatever that hardship is, whether it's just training or basic training or it's from the very beginning, you develop that bond very quickly. So Mhmm. Lisa Nichols
Well, yeah. And Brandon, that carries on to business. Right? Because business is made up of people, of teams. Right? And even going through hard times together brings you strong together, makes you stronger together, I think, and, builds that camaraderie. Well, I mean, you when you were there, I mean, you you were in the military for ten years. Well, you're still in the Army Reserves. You're still a major in the Army Reserves. So you're still serving. But you led operations ranging from five people to five thousand, which is pretty remarkable. And you even served in the, Korangal, Valley. Brandon Bettis
It's France. It's France. Korangal. Lisa Nichols
Korangal? Okay. Brandon Bettis
Yeah. Lisa Nichols
Which is the valley of called the valley of death, right, in Afghanistan. Brandon Bettis
Yeah. I so I only had, one deployment to Afghanistan and, you know, compared to some other people, and and I I don't necessarily compare my career to anyone else's. But that that valley, it's fairly well known in the military community. There's a there's a really good documentary called Restrepo. And Restrepo is about this little small outpost, and they had some a couple of photographers over there. It's a it's a really well known documentary that shows what it's truly like to be in combat. And it's probably one of the better ones out there. So it's kind of a well known kind of household name, if you will. And I was just lucky enough to that's where I was assigned and that's what I got to do. So I like to joke that, you know, I although I only had one deployment, it was kinda like the Super Bowl deployments. Lisa Nichols
Right. Brandon Bettis
It was like a a really famous area, really well known. It's a really small stretch of land in Southeast Afghanistan that right up right close to the Pakistan border. And even the Taliban, the Taliban used that as their training field. And so while a lot of other units and most of the mission in Afghanistan was to build the government, to build an infrastructure, to build the military. That was our job in Afghanistan was to build up the Afghan forces so they can defend themselves. That wasn't our the company I served in. We were about a hundred and twenty, individuals, soldiers, and I was second in charge of that company. So I was the executive officer, but our job was just to fight. Like, hard fought was to go fight the enemy. And for infantry guys, like, we joined to go fight. Lisa Nichols
Yeah. Brandon Bettis
So I like to say, like, we got to go do our jobs. Yeah. But it was it was a lot of fun, if you will. I know that sounds crazy to a lot of people. Lisa Nichols
That doesn't sound like fun, Brandon, but, you know. Brandon Bettis
Yeah. I I like to I like to joke, like, the first time I got shot at, it was a lot of fun, because we finally got to do what we were trained to do. Lisa Nichols
What you came there to do. Brandon Bettis
Yeah. And and I I kinda compare it with with with young men that are seeking to join the military. I would say, imagine, if you're on a football team or baseball team or sports team, and all you do your entire career is practice. If all you do is practice, but you never get in the game, you'd probably leave that career, you know, feeling lesser, if you will. Like, man Yeah. Like, I got really good at throwing the football. I got really good at hitting the baseball, but I never got to go compete. Yeah. And that's that's the best way I can compare it is we got to go compete. We we got in the game. Now the first couple times you're kind of excited. You're like, alright cool. I get to do my job. The the the thirtieth time you get shot at it gets a little old, and you're like, okay. I'm done. Lisa Nichols
I'm pretty tired of being shot at. Brandon Bettis
This is not fun anymore. Like, at a certain point, we're playing with fate. And, that's that's the best comparison. So, thankfully, I got out there unscathed. Lisa Nichols
Yes. Brandon Bettis
Didn't have any injuries or anything like that. And and we had a successful deployment. So Lisa Nichols
Yeah. Well, I know you got a bronze star and a combat infantry man bad, which is for those that really, did ground combat, which you did. So let me let me pivot here. So, like, after you got out of the military, you went into financial services. And I I wanna talk about this, Brandon, this hidden struggle. You and I spoke a lot about this when we had lunch a couple of months ago. But, you know, you were outwardly successful. You were financially independent at the age of thirty eight, which is pretty incredible. Decorated officer, husband to Aaron, father to Kennedy and Whitney, but internally, you were struggling really deeply. Can you tell us that story? Brandon Bettis
Yeah. So, like, on paper, like, I like to describe my my testimony as, like, I had, like, a perfect life. I mean, the snapshot of my life was was amazing. I was in I was I called myself incredibly blessed. So I had two careers that I loved. When I when I left the military, I was fortunate enough to to kinda land in the financial services world. And, again, it was one of those things of serving others. And I just I fell in love with, you know, financial services and teaching people about, financial foundations, a lot of stuff. And so I had two careers that I loved, that I was extremely blessed and fortunate to have. I had a a beautiful loving wife, that was supportive. She was amazing. She supported my entire career. I had two happy, healthy daughters. You know, just wonderful financial independence, and and I was suicidal. Like, I I did not wanna be here. When I when I share my testimony, I have a a picture of my family kind of a beautiful snapshot of this family or this Hallmark family, Facebook family, if you will. And, like, that photo does not hang in my house because the day that photo was taken, like, I was suicidal. And in the in the hardest part when it comes to that, for me personally was, it was almost like a frustration in the sense that I couldn't pinpoint why. Like, I didn't have any major childhood trauma. Yes. I experienced things in combat, but I didn't have Right. Post traumatic stress in the sense of waking up with nightmares. I didn't have any vivid images. I I didn't have any injuries. And and when you can't pinpoint it, like, I didn't have a a problem through that. Like, I've been trained my entire life. Like, there's a problem. Let's go solve it. But I just had this voice in my head that's, like, you're not good enough confidence. And and it was it was really it was really difficult. Like, when I left the military, it got so bad that when I left the military, I kinda had this moment of panic of, man, the only thing I've ever wanted to do was be a a soldier, and that's now removed. So what's keeping me here? And I have a small tattoo on my bicep of my daughter's names, and the only reason I got that tattoo was because the day I'm holding a gun to my head, it would be the last thing I would see, and it might stop me. It might buy me one more minute, one more hour, one more day. It was that it was that bad. And and for the longest time, I've been struggling with those thoughts since I was a teenager. And so I was using things of this world to fill that void. So for example, like, when I'm in college, I was like, okay. If I just get in the military, everything will be okay. Once I was in the military, it's like, well, okay. Maybe if I get married and have a family, then everything will be okay. And then even in the military, it's like, let me chase more. Let me do more. Let me get more accomplishments. And then so leaving the military, I was like, well, what do I do now? And then once I got in the financial services world, like, that world is abundant when it comes to more, more, more. More clients, more money, more success, Lisa Nichols
and Brandon Bettis
it was endless. But then once I got to the point of, well, it's not money anymore. Like, I have enough. Like, I I I I'm not chasing that anymore. It was kind of this kind of crisis moment of Lisa Nichols
What is it? Brandon Bettis
Man, I gotta start take I gotta focus on Lisa Nichols
What is it? You know? I mean, it's like that's your like Exactly. Something is I don't feel purpose. I don't feel meaning in my life. Yeah. What is it that's gonna fill the hole? And Brandon Bettis
Yeah. And and it was one of those things where I I I kinda ran out of goals. Yeah. Like, I was like I was like, there's nothing left for me to chase. And it it became like a it's I'm like, what's keeping me here? What's and not necessarily my purpose because I felt like I had a purpose was to serve others, but that wasn't I wouldn't say that wasn't enough, but it was just it was like, there's gotta be something more, to fill this void, Lisa Nichols
to Brandon Bettis
fill this hole. So that's kinda where I was, before attending a Lisa Nichols
program called Brandon Bettis
Mighty Oaks. Lisa Nichols
And I wanna talk about that, Brandon. We're gonna take a quick break, though. And I wanna come back, and I wanna get right into Mighty Oaks because that's you told me the story, and I really think it's gonna help our listeners. So we're gonna take a quick break, and we'll be right back with Brandon Bettis on the Something Extra podcast. AD
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Well, welcome back, everyone, to the Something Extra podcast with my friend, Brandon Betts. So so, Brandon, we were just talking about suicidal thoughts and things that you, you know, you were just trying to fill, and you had you had reached the peak. You had reached the summit. You'd reached financial independence. You had a beautiful wife. You, you know, were a decorated officer in the military, all these achievements, and then something still wasn't right inside. You know, what I found ironic is I know that you, you know, you I think you served as a suicide prevention officer while you were in the army, but you were having these suicidal ideations. What does that really say, Brandon, about and it's not just people over in the military. I mean, there's people all over that wear these masks. Brandon Bettis
Yep. Yeah. That's that's exactly how we describe it. It's just you're you're wearing a mask. And and and that again, that was a frustrating part of it is because what what the world will tell us in the traditional, you know, sense and secular sense is they'll they'll kinda tell you, like, hey. This is how you get out of it. And so, like, being a suicide prevention officer, like, I would give training on, like, hey. This is what you need to do. You need to reach out to a friend. You need to call. You need to do this. You need to do that. So I knew what tools to use to, you know, not get so hopeless. Like, so for example, like, I I could almost see my depression coming in slow motion. So, like, if I I knew that if I was in that state, I couldn't go out and and drown it with alcohol because I knew that was dangerous. I couldn't, like, have weapons in my house. Like, I had to put stop gaps in place. I knew what to do, but that then it didn't stop those thoughts from coming, and when that voice is in your head, like, it is loud. It is loud of there's nothing you can do, like, it is it is really dangerous, and unfortunately, the the secular world, they they use it with medication, And there's medication and there's different therapies and there's all these different tools that we can add and we can do it. But without Christ at the center of it, like, you're toast. Like, I and I'm I'm a firm believer in you can you there's no pill that's gonna stop it. Most medications cause, one of the side effects of of the vast majority of medications is suicidal ideations Yeah. And suicidal thoughts. And so so what do you have to turn to, in the secular world without Christ at the center? It, is a very dangerous place to be. And and I I tried everything. Like, I was going to the VA, the veterans administration. I was taking pills. I was I was I was vocal about it. I would I was publishing articles while I was in the military about being suicidal, which is, at the time, was almost a career killer. When I was about to take command of a company, I was gonna publish an article talking about, yeah, I struggle with these thoughts. And I had leadership tell me, they're like, hey. If you if you publish this, we can't guarantee your career will be your career. Because it was at the time, like, the military is like, no. You don't talk about that. Especially senior leaders. Right? You don't talk about that. That's a problem for somebody else. You're not allowed to have those thoughts. And, thankfully, nothing happened with it, but it was a it was a it was a, a battle to be vocal about it, but at the same time still be dealing with it. Because usually, you know, the solution is like, alright. We're gonna we're gonna lock you in a room somewhere for a couple weeks. We're gonna take away your shoelaces, and we're gonna lock you in a room for a couple weeks, and then somehow you're gonna get better. And so there's a lot of different voices out there about here's how we solve this problem. But without Christ, good luck. You're putting it's a band aid Lisa Nichols
It's a band aid. Brandon Bettis
In my opinion. Lisa Nichols
Well, it's kinda like what we said before, and there was a famous I think it was Steak Hart that said every man is is born with a hole in their heart. Right? A hole in their heart because we were created to have a relationship with our Creator. Brandon Bettis
Absolutely. Lisa Nichols
Right? And, yeah, nothing nothing satisfies. So I really and this is what really got me. You you applied to Mighty Oaks, which is a wonderful program. You applied in twenty sixteen, but you didn't attend till twenty twenty one. I mean, the timing matter. But I remember you telling me, Brandon, that you you found hope. You thought, well, maybe this will give me the hope that I need, the tools that I need. But then you figured out that there was a little faith component, and you were a diehard atheist. And you're like, there's no way no way that I am, gonna go to this. But then you finally did Brandon Bettis
Yeah. Lisa Nichols
Tell us that story, and then I want to know what happened in the Ohio wilderness. Brandon Bettis
Yeah. Yeah. So, and I would I would call myself a diehard atheist, but, but yeah. So I applied in two thousand six sixteen when I was leaving active duty. At that time, I still have no idea how I first heard about Muddy Oaks. I have no idea why I fill an application. So Mighty Oaks is a peer to peer support program. It is faith based. It's a national program, and and the cool thing is that they they remove any barrier for someone attending. So if if nothing else happens from this podcast, I just pray that one person puts in an application for Mighty Oaks. It it's mighty oaks foundation dot org, and, it doesn't cost anything. My my sales pitch for mighty oaks is worst case scenario, it's a free vacation to a beautiful location with awesome food and good fellowship, and that's the worst case scenario. It's a break from it's a break from your family. It's a free it's a free vacation. The best case scenario is one step closer to Jesus and possibly eternal salvation. And so we try to remove every barrier from someone attending. And so when I put that application initially, I later found some emails where we're kinda going back and forth, but for some reason, I didn't attend. I think it was because I was as I was leaving the military, my schedule's kinda chaos, and it just kinda fell off the radar. And and then in two thousand twenty one, they sent me an email out of the blue, again, all timing. And at that time, I was looking for any any sort of solution, anything. Like, I was going down to Mexico to do psilocybin, like mushrooms. I was going to the VA. I was just I was really tackling this problem. And so the timing of the email was perfect, and they said, hey. Are you still interested in attending? You've never been to a a session. Are you interested in attending? I just said yes. I was like, yes. I'll try anything. Two days before three days before I was about to fly out, they paid for my plane ticket. They were gonna send me to Ohio. Two days before I flew out, I actually went to the website. And I was like, what is Mardi Oaks? I have no idea where I'm getting into. All I knew is a vet is a veterans program, veterans and first responders that dealt with post traumatic stress and depression. Lisa Nichols
I was Brandon Bettis
like, well, that's me. I'll go. And then I saw that it was faith based. And, yes, I was an atheist. Now just to clarify, I I don't believe like, if someone wants to call themselves an atheist, I think they have a due diligence to study all the world religions with an open heart and an open mind. And then after you've studied every religion, come to a definitive conclusion there is no God. I didn't do that. I didn't crack my Bible. I didn't I didn't I didn't deep dive into, you know, theology. I just I was just a moron. I thought I wasn't really anything. I was just a moron. Right? But it is accurate that I didn't recognize a god of the universe. I didn't recognize who Jesus was. I didn't recognize what he did for me. And so I I called him up. I I sent an email and called him up. I said, hey. I'm sorry. I didn't know what this would that that this would what we're gonna talk about was faith. This isn't gonna work for me. Use my slot for someone else. You someone else can use this. It's not gonna work for me. And they didn't flinch. They're like, yeah. We know. You put it on your application that you're an atheist. You're still welcome to be here. We might be able to teach you a thing or two, and you might be able to, you know, take some tools back. And and to this day, like, you know, I think that if I could go back in time, if Mighty Oaks would have been across the street and for free, I probably wouldn't have shown up. But I almost felt guilty that they'd pay for my plane ticket, and I was like, I don't want I don't wanna take for my charity. I have an offer. I was like, I'll pay you back for the plane ticket. And and, again, they didn't flinch. They're like, no. You should show up. And so I did. I showed up, and I went through the entire week. It was in Ohio, just east of, Columbus, Ohio. Beautiful location. It's, like, right on the lake. It's like a little these, like, little cabins along the lake house. You know, peaceful, serene. It was around, like, May, so the weather was good. And, I went through the whole week and went through classes that they gave us. There's classes and there's small group breakouts, and I went through and I wasn't I wasn't trying to hide my faith. Like, I literally stood up Monday night. I was like, I don't know why I'm here. I'm an atheist. And Lisa Nichols
I love your vulnerability. Your service tonight. Brandon Bettis
Yeah. I mean, let's be honest. Right? It's funny because I've talked to some guys later on. They're like, yeah. We were watching you all week, and they were in the back of their mind, they're like, yeah. That's not gonna last. This this dude, he's toast. So but, I mean, there's guys praying for me all week. There's guys across the country praying for me. I went through the whole week. I went through classes, and they have classes on discipline and character and purity and forgiveness and, like, really good teaching. And it's it's taught by guys that used to be students. Every single leader at Mighty Oaks used to be a student, and we found hope there. And, they teach these class, and we're vulnerable. We we we we open up our chest, and we talk about where we were and then Christ and then, where we are now. And I keep saying Lisa Nichols
because you're a team leader now. Right? Yes. Yes. Brandon Bettis
But, yeah, I went through my whole the whole week, and I gave my testimony on Tuesday on Thursday. I talked about, you know, the money. I talked about my career. I talked about my suicidal ideations. And when I got done, one of the other students kind of stopped and paused and said, are you still an atheist? And I took a second to think about it. I was like, yeah. I am. I don't believe the best way I can describe my faith at that time was someone described faith kinda like as a crock pot, and I believed in all the ingredients in the crock pot. I believed in, you know, love others, be a good husband, be a good father, do these things, forgive, but I couldn't wrap my mind around the apparatus of a crock pot, of a of a God that loved me, a God that created everything, and a savior that died on the cross. I couldn't wrap my head around that part of it, until the last day, the last class, this class called money and possessions. And in that class, they share the story of the young rich ruler, from Mark ten. Or anyone who's unfamiliar with it, a young man runs up to Jesus and says, good teacher, what must I do to inherit the kingdom? Inhere inherit eternal life. And Jesus says, you know, why do you call me good? There's only one good that's God. And he says, well, follow the commandments. And this young man's response is essentially, yeah. Yeah. I'm I've been doing all that. Like, he's works he he's been doing good. Right? He's like, I'm a good person. And then Jesus looks at him. He loves him. He says one thing you lack, go and sell everything you own and give it to the poor, and pick up your cross and follow me, and you'll have treasure in heaven. And this young man walks away sad because he was very rich. And so as soon as they shared that scripture, the instructor that was teaching it, a former Navy Seal, he says, if Jesus asked, would you give up everything? And that question just sat in the pit of my stomach and my heart because at that time, as I heard that question, I had an earthly earthly net worth of about two point one million dollars. And my answer was no. I'm like, nope. That that's mine. I earned it. This is my money. And I and this was nowhere on my radar when I showed up. Like, I was trying to solve other problems. I wasn't I wasn't I'm like, I got this part solved. Like, I'm good. But, man, like, it just really stirred in my heart of and when I think back now, obviously, I was idolizing money. I was worshiping money. I was worshiping the success that I had. And then, after that class, we went on what's called a reflection walk. The reflection walk is meant to be just take a breath and everything we've taught you. Like, you're drinking through a fire hose all week. Like, they're teaching a lot of scripture, a lot of different areas of of Christianity, and you're just drinking through a fire hose all week. So they said, hey. Just pause and stop. And I just got out of there, and I left everything behind, and I just started walking. And I started walking up a hill, and off to the left is a body of water, off to the right is the thicket of trees. And they told us to stay off a road. There's a country road where people drive up and down that road pretty fast. They're like, hey. Stay off of that. So in my mind, I have to go left or right. And as I start to get to the top of this hill, I I'm going left. I'm going left. I'm gonna go sit by the water and think. But as I get close to the top of the hill, I can see a small path off to the right. And it was a very clear sign. I was like, okay. Something's telling me to go right. I should go right. As I get to the top of the hill, that path that was my path that I had hoped for was basically a small gravel kinda cutout, probably about twenty feet long that led to an electrical box. And so, essentially, I was at a dead end. And I stood there and I just broke down and started crying, and I was getting upset. I was getting mad. I I I joke. I'm like, man, I just I'm going to the VA. That's not working. I'm taking all these medications. That's not working. I'm I'm doing all these things I'm supposed to be doing. I'm going to therapy. I'm doing all these things I'm supposed to be doing. It's not working. I just spent a week at Duke's boot camp. That didn't work. I was, like, so frustrated. I was like, what do I do now? Like, I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna have the same problems, the same issues, but now I have no idea what else to try. I've I I can't solve this problem. And I sat there, and I I just I was by this time, I was praying, and I I kind of even joke with God. I'm like, okay, God. Like, this is a funny joke. Like, if if you meant for this path to lead me somewhere, Lisa Nichols
like, it's a Brandon Bettis
dead like, I get it. You know, God has a sense of humor, but he's not always funny. But I just sat there and prayed, and I was, like, broken. And I had, like, a a piece of paper with some questions on it, and nothing's hidden nothing's hidden. And then, eventually, I go back to that question of, would you give up everything for Jesus? And, again, my answer was no. But then I started thinking about my family and in my legacy. And I started thinking about, like, if there was a scenario where my daughters needed life saving surgery, and before the surgery, the doctor came out and said, by the way, this operation costs everything you own. Would you pay it? Of course. Like, any any parent would. I take the shirt off my back. I'd save my child. Okay. How about your wife? Well, same question, same response. When I reframe that question of that's what that means of Jesus didn't want my money. He doesn't want my stuff. He just wants all of me. And how much am I worth? Like, how much how much is my soul worth? As soon as I said yes, like, I believed. I was like, yes. You can have everything. And as soon as I said that, like so I like to say, like, I didn't accept Jesus Christ. Like, I submitted to him. And as soon as I said yes, I could believe in a god universe. I believe in every word of scripture. I believe he died for my sins. And it was just it wasn't like a lightning bolt, but it was a lightning bolt moment of it was a true heart change of, you know, the holy spirit reaching in and ripping out my heart of stone and turning into a heart of flesh. And so I was saved on May twenty first two thousand twenty one at approximately eleven AM on the side of the road in the middle Lisa Nichols
of a In a dead end on a dead end. And I think you told me, Brandon. And I was just like, gosh. That's so metaphorical. You didn't really realize it, but it was something like a sewer station. Brandon Bettis
Yeah. Yeah. And I Lisa Nichols
was like, how metaphorical is that? Brandon Bettis
I know. Like, I love sharing my testimony. Just shows God's glory. And and I've been I was sharing it for, like, probably two years. I would share at my yolks when I was going through as an instructor. I shared it on stage. I've shared it, like, at line in Starbucks. I've shared my testimony in so many different ways. And for the longest time, I would share it. And I would always describe, like, that little corner or that little dead end as, like, a power box. There's some people that are like, oh, you found your power. I'm like, I didn't really think of that, but, like, they're like it's like a Yeah. It's like a utility box in the middle of this field. And I was sharing it one time in Ohio, actually, and a buddy of mine comes up. He's like, hey. You know that's not, like, an electrical box. Right? I was like, oh, what is it? Like and he's like, that's the septic pump station. And so, like, whenever I go back to visit Ohio, I I go to my spot. Right? And, like, I'll pray, and I I view that as my former grave. I'm like, that's where the former brain is buried. That's my grave. I get to go visit my grave, and I get to worship. I still cry every time I go there, but I cry for different reasons. And and he's like he's like, yeah. That's the septic that's the septic tank. And so the old brain is buried in septic tank. Septic tank. And at septic tank. And at first, I was like I was like I was like, I still go up there and hang out. Like, I'm just hanging out on top of the septic. And he's like, he's like, yeah. I know. That's why it's funny. Oh my goodness. It actually makes it makes the testimony a Lisa Nichols
little bit more. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Well, I just, God does have a sense of humor. You know? But I was just thinking, Brandon, because you didn't tell me about the, you know, that they had talked about the story of the rich young ruler. But, you know, I mean, Jesus said, go and sell all that you have and give it to the poor. And I'm just thinking you probably had these thoughts. I mean, the thing is he he gave up everything for us. He gave up everything for us. Right? He left heaven. Brandon Bettis
Yeah. So And even even in scripture, there's a lot of people that will, you know, that young rich ruler that kind of assume, like, okay. So, you know, I can't be wealthy and and follow Christ. It's like that's not what that means. But there there are scriptures even even later in passage scripture says, you know, whoever's willing to live up give up your wife, give up your kids, give your brother, give up your sister. Like, we have to be get to the point of being willing. It doesn't mean you have to give it up, but be willing to give everything up. You know? And and I found that out later when I when my wife and I went through restoration of our marriage of, like, I had to get to the point of being willing to give up everything, and and that's truly what it means. He's not telling us to give up everything, but just that heart posture of truly releasing whatever we're holding to. Surrendered. Lord and Balm. Yeah. Surrender surrender, submit. Lisa Nichols
Yeah. Well, gosh. I've still got lots of things I wanted to talk to you about, but we are running out of time here. I want you just to walk us through real quickly, and then we'll get into, something I share. One of the the cool things about it is Erin and the girls were baptized after that, and you guys are all walking with Jesus now, which is so cool. But I would love for you to talk about the four b's real quick and resilience. What are the four b's? Brandon Bettis
Yeah. Yeah. So the biggest thing that we try to teach at My Yokes, there's a lot that we try to teach. Right? But we we have a, these four pillars that we stand on even as leaders, and we try to teach them to other guys. We call it the four b's, and the four b's are being the word, being prayer, being fellowship, and being contact with your corner man. So the first two are fairly self explanatory, like, knowing God's word, having a study plan, like, like, meditating on his word, like, like knowing it. Being in prayer is just constant conversation of, you know, we believe in the power of prayer, praying, asking, and just having that communication to build that relationship and and not necessarily a formal prayer. There's a lot of people that don't know how to pray. It's just like it's just a conversation with god. And then being in fellowship is being in a good bible teaching church, serving in the church, helping the church grow, being a being a part of a body of believers on a regular basis. And then the fourth one, to be in contact with your corner man, that one's probably the most difficult for most most people. And we use the analogy of when you're in a fight, because the founder of Mighty Oaks used to be an MMA fighter. So we use that it's a spiritual warfare. When we're in spiritual warfare, we're typically alone. And most men love to fight alone. Like like, we got this. I I know what I'm doing. But but when there's a break in the fight, the bell rings, and you go back to your corner, and you go back to a brother that you're transparent with and that they know you. They know you intimately. They know your struggles. They're praying for you. And he's kinda whispering in your ear or he's yelling in your ear, like, hey, dummy. Like, maybe give up drinking. Hey, dummy. Like, maybe go ask for forgiveness. Hey, why are you treating your wife this way? So it's a it's a relationship with another brother, another Christian brother, to lean on in hard times, to celebrate in good times, and building that relationship. And that's usually a typical one that most men, they're really good at isolating, and we don't wanna talk to anybody about our problems. And so those are the four pillars that we we really, emphasize of here's okay. Here's here's the gospel. Step one is submit your life to Christ, being saved, you know, but then here's how you walk it out. Forever. Like, here's how you walk out. Here's the tools. Here's the training program of when life gets difficult. What are you gonna do? It'd be more of those things. Is that Lisa Nichols
is that in your corner man or corner woman. Yeah. Absolutely. Do MMI too. So Brandon Bettis
We all need we all need that fellowship. We all need someone to talk to, when life gets difficult just for that wisdom and that counsel, and getting the right counsel. Lisa Nichols
So I completely Yeah. We were made we were made to do life with each other, not not in isolation. And I think that that is, you know, that's dangerous. I mean, leaders can can fall into that where they're in isolation. So, gosh, Brandon, this has been so good. I I could just keep going and going and going. I wanted to talk to you about your favorite Bible verse, all of those. I don't know if you have one that you can just rattle off real quick, and then we're gonna talk about something extra. Brandon Bettis
I like Galatians two twenty. I've been crucified with Christ. It's no longer, he who I who live, but he who lives in me. That's probably that's probably one of my go tos. I'm I'm actually really God did not give me the gift of memorizing scripture. And every time I have a favorite Bible verse, like, the next Lisa Nichols
week, I'll go over it. Yeah. This one's my favorite. Yeah. Brandon Bettis
John fifteen is a good one too with the divine and address. And we actually talked Lisa Nichols
about how to Brandon Bettis
realign, like, to abide Lisa Nichols
Yes. Brandon Bettis
Abide in Christ. That's that's a big one for me. But, yeah, there's almost too many there's almost too many to list. Lisa Nichols
You know, and it's cool because certain scripture will speak words and hope into your life at certain times. Right? So, depending upon what you're going through. Well, let me ask you this. This is called something extra. What do you believe every leader needs, Brandon? Brandon Bettis
I would say humility. I think I think that's the biggest thing for a leader. And, you know, across the board, right, there's a when you when you find a good leader and you you you say, hey. I wanna follow that person. Typically, if they don't have some sort of humility, and that and you can kind of translate that into, like, service and a servant leader. I I know servant leaders kinda tossed around and is a kind of buzzword, but really what that I think what it comes down to is that humility. And and for any leader out there, I think there's a there's a great disservice that we do in the leadership community is that there's a lot of really good leaders that are bad followers. And and that's one of the biggest things I took from my time in service in the military and even even the positions I'm in now. It's really easy to I think sometimes it's easier to lead in certain situations, but, man, sometimes it's really hard to follow. And so I think if leaders can especially young leaders trying to develop their leadership, learn how to be a great follower, and and that will kinda help with with the leadership. I think that's one thing that served me well in the military is, especially, you know, there's kind of a disconnect with leaders. There's officers and there's NCOs, and there's a lot of officers I've seen that they have this kind of air superiority. I'm like, well, I'm in charge, so you're gonna follow me no matter what. But I always took an approach of we all bleed the same blood, and I'm not better than you. Like, there's there's there's so much that I can learn from a brand new private or or someone who's only been two or three years. There's so much that I can learn from that person, but I need to be able to humble myself and and and and be willing to learn and be willing to follow. And the military military is a really unique environment where no matter what room you're in, we all know who has the highest rank. Really weird environment where you can look at the rank on the chest, but even if everyone in the room is wearing the same rank, then it goes down by, okay, who got the rank faster? And by default, that person's in charge. And by default, every single one of us in that room will follow that person. The civilian world Right. Not so much. Civilian world, like, there's a lot of times where it's like there's different titles in different directions. And so but at the same time, leadership will rise to the surface. No matter what what the situation is, someone will step up. But if it's not me in charge at that moment, I need to be a really great follower because now it helps that person Yeah. Lead. So I think I think that's that's something extra that sometimes is missing. I I've known plenty of leaders that they lead just based on their title or just based on their rank or just based on their experience, but you can you can quickly realize, like, man, you you need to humble yourself a little bit. Like, you're not you're not better than anyone in this room. You've just been here, Romeo and I out. Lisa Nichols
Well, I always say, Brandon, either humble yourself or be humbled. Brandon Bettis
Yep. Absolutely. Lisa Nichols
You know, there's ways that God uses to humble us too. So Brandon Bettis
Absolutely. And we see that in leadership failures all the time of, you know, leaders that fall. It's usually because they couldn't humble themselves and and be willing to follow and be willing to Lisa Nichols
learn. I agree. Well, this has been so good, Brandon. Thank you so much for the conversation, for being on the show. And, I'm just so grateful to have met you and your, I know that your testimony, it's gonna be fun to see what God continues to do in and through you because, a lot of people need to hear your testimony. And yeah. Brandon Bettis
Well, thank you. Thank you, Lisa. I always I always I I I enjoy hearing that because I have a hard I used to have a really hard time sharing my testimony, but the more I've I've kinda heard that that, you know, it might reach someone else. And I've gotten much more comfortable with if if it helps one person, great. I gotcha. Lisa Nichols
Yeah. Brandon Bettis
We're just planting seeds. So the more that I can share it with, the better, but not from my perspective. Lisa Nichols
Amen to that. Amen to that. Well, thank you again. Enjoy the rest of your day, and, I can't wait to see you again face to face. Alright. You take care. Brandon Bettis
Thanks, Lisa. Announcer
Something extra with Lisa Nichols is a Technology Partners production. Copyright Technology Partners Inc twenty nineteen. To learn more about this week's guest, check out the show notes at tpi dot co slash podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, consider leaving us a review. Thank you for listening to Something Extra. 
